Page 30 of Mail-Order Bride Mommy
“Was she like that when her parents were alive?”
“I don’t remember. It seems whenever I saw her, she was with one of them. They were taking care of her, so I never thought about what she was doing. That was up to them.”
“Matt, I think you handled the situation out there very well.”
His head came up. His eyes found hers, wide and uncertain. “You do?”
“Yes. She came too close to having an accident.” Gwen shuddered. “She needs boundaries. I suppose we all do in some sense.”
He quirked his eyebrows. “What sort of boundaries do you have?”
She gave her answer a moment’s thought as she set cups of tea on the table for each of them and put a piece of pie before him. She sat down, leaned forward on her elbows, and tried to formulate her words. “Some boundaries are set by God. Like don’t steal. Don’t lie. Some are set by others. Like say please and thank you. Some we set for ourselves.”
“Like what?”
“I told you how my mother said I was her little ray of sunshine. I suppose I wasn’t unlike Lindy, happy with life and eager to share my happiness with others. But as I grew older things weren’t always easy. Being orphaned and homeless was difficult. I learned things didn’t change if I was grumpy but were easier to take if I was happy. Or at least, doing my best to be so. It seemed to make those around me feel better too.”
Matt’s pie was untouched, his fork forgotten as he listened to her. “Luke accused me of being grouchy.” He picked up his fork and poked at the pie.
She kept silent hoping he’d reveal more and ignored her own slice.
“He reminded me of how our mother was always cheerful. I need to be more like her.”
Still, Gwen didn’t say anything. It seemed to her that he was sorting out his thoughts as he spoke, and she didn’t want to interrupt that process.
He sighed heavily. “It’s just that there have been so many accidents.”
The moments ticked past. Gwen’s heart ached at the pain on his face as he sifted through painful memories.
“It wasn’t just Roscoe and Merry.” He looked up, his dark eyes piercing her like a sword. “You wondered why I didn’t meet the train.”
She nodded.
“I planned to marry once before.”
Ahh, it was as she’d guessed. He’d had his heart broken in the past.
“Corine was her name. I met her when she came to visit her aunt and uncle at the store. We spent every moment I wasn’t working together. Shared our thoughts. Laughed at the same things.” His throat worked. “We couldn’t wait to get married. She went back East to arrange wedding details with her parents then she was to return, and we would marry. I went to meet her on the incoming train. I wished I had a bouquet of hothouse flowers but all I had was a bunch of wildflowers I’d picked. And a little bag of her favorite candy—licorice.”
His chest rose and fell steadily as he got caught up in the story. “I sat on the bench outside the depot. The time arrived but no train. After I’d sat there quite some time, Mr. Turner came out. He said there’d been an accident down the line and the train would be delayed. At first, I wasn’t concerned. Accidents happen. I was prepared to wait.” He paused and she watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.
A heavy feeling settled into her stomach as she guessed what had happened and thought of him waiting, helpless, alone—
“An hour later, Mr. Turner came out again. Telegraph had said there were a number of deaths. I still wasn’t concerned. It couldn’t mean Corine, and I breathed a little prayer that she wasn’t even hurt. Her aunt and uncle had heard the news and came to wait with me. It was dark before the information came that she was one of those who had perished.” His hand fisted and he slid it off the table.
Tears gathered in Gwen’s throat, making it impossible to speak. She blinked. Forced air into tight lungs. She clenched her hands tightly, hands that ached to offer comfort with a gentle touch.
“I tossed the wilted flowers to the ground and handed the bag of candy to a child who was among those waiting. It was dark by then, but I rode home at a dangerous pace. I didn’t care that it was risky. Life no longer mattered.”
He met her eyes, and the depth of his pain stole her breath. “That was the moment my heart died within me. Oh, it pumps blood, but it will never again be alive.” He shoved his neglected piece of pie away. “I should have gone with her. But she didn’t want to wait until I was free.”
With a muffled sound, he strode from the house.
Gwen sat at the table for a long time, digesting his revelation. That explained why he’d insisted on a marriage in name only. Finally, she gathered up the tea service. She’d wash the cups tomorrow. Her steps slow, she went to her bedroom and perched on the edge of her bed.
Their agreement had been for her to be a mother to Lindy. She found utter joy in that. She already loved the child. All she had to do was prove herself to Matt so he would fulfill the promise he’d made to marry her. But now she had another goal. She would do her best to bring joy into Matt’s life. She thought of the joke he’d made this afternoon. She liked that side of him.
She opened her Bible and turned to the verse she had committed to memory when she was young. The words had grown even more encouraging after her parents died and she and Maurice found themselves homeless.A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.It hadn’t always been easy to choose a merry heart, but it always felt better than dwelling on the bad things in her life.
