Page 20 of Same Girl
Fyve lifted a large bag in his hand. “I brought food. Don’t worry about cooking. We just gon’ sit down, break bread, and figure some shit out.”
I nodded and set my bag down on the couch before I headed toward my bedroom. “Let me at least shower and change into something comfortable first.”
“We ain’t going nowhere,” Chosen stated.
Words that would have filled me with joy only weeks ago now left a boulder in the pit of my stomach. I moved to my bedroom and undressed, thinking about how if one or the other of them were here, they would be helping me undress and shower.
It was impossible with both of them here because someone was bound to get jealous. A little thought flowed through my mind, turning up the corners of my lips. I giggled as I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Man, if only dreams came true, both men would be in here with me, showering and pleasuring me.
I wasted no time showering and getting dressed because I was starving, and I wanted to get the conversation over with.
When I returned to the living room, they had placed our food on plates and grabbed water bottles from my refrigerator.
“You guys aren’t wasting time, huh?” I muttered.
“Sit down,” Fyve commanded.
I sat and waited while Chosen prayed over our meal. That had always been something he insisted on, prayer before meals.
“What’s going on with you, baby girl? Why haven’t you reached out to either of us?” Chosen asked as he poured sweet and sour sauce over his chicken.
“You gave me an impossible demand.”
“How’s that?”
“You both wanted me to choose between you, and I can’t.”
“It’s no different than what women ask men to do all the time. Now you want to reverse roles, Mya?”
“No, Chosen. I have never asked a man to choose. I didn’t even ask my husband. Hell, he didn’t give me the option. I want to go back to the way that things were.”
“How? It’s either him or me.”
“But it’s not that simple, baby.”
Fyve was eating and watching the conversation between Chosen and me like he was a bystander. When I spoke those words, he set his fork down and tilted his head before he asked a question.
“Why?”
“Fyve, you give me things that are uniquely you. Things that I can’t get anywhere else but when I’m with you. The security and safety that I feel with you are incomparable. You make me laugh, and you’ve taught me how not to take myself and life so seriously. The way you challenge me and push me, no one else can do that. When I’m in that stubborn space, and I’m not listening to anyone else, you can break through to me.
“Chosen gives me the patience that I need. He gives me peace when my heart is troubled and the reassurance that I need to tackle the world. This man was the one who was there for me that second year after the divorce. In my first year, I was numb, just going through the motions. That second year, I began to feel, and it hurt deeply.
“Chosen saw that. He saw me. He helped me see the beauty within myself despite what the mirror or the world saw, and he encouraged me to enter therapy. Yes, I got with you both to prove a point, and I was wrong for that. But was I wrong for loving you both? I have loved you both with everything in my heart and held nothing back. Everything you’ve asked of me, I have given to you from the depth of my reserve and even more.”
“So what are you asking of us?” Chosen asked.
“Are you just done with us? You trying to walk out of our lives?” Fyve asked as a loud clap of thunder sounded outside.
“No. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
“So you’re asking us to choose then?” Chosen asked.
“It’s not what I want you to do, baby.”
“Then what do you want, Mya? You don’t want us to go, you don’t want us to choose, and you don’t want to choose.”
I grew quiet as I stirred my food around on my plate.
