Page 17 of Same Girl
She shook her head with tears spilling from her eyes. “My heart is with both of you. I wasn’t lying, Chosen, when I said that I love you with all of my heart. I love you, and I’m in love with you. And the same goes for Fyve. You both embody everything that I want and need in my life. Chosen, you bring me joy and speak affirmations to me that build me up. You calm me and inspire me. You bring romance and passion into my life, where I never thought that I would experience that. When I’m with you, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me.
“Fyve,” she stated, turning to my friend. “You challenge me and empower me to find my voice. You bring strength into my life and let me know no obstacle or mountain is too great for me to climb. Not only do you teach me that, but you’re right there beside me, helping me to accomplish it as I go. You go hard for me and protect me. I feel safe when I’m with you.”
“I’m glad that I do all that for you, baby girl, but you’re gon’ have to decide. Who is it that you want to be with? Is it him or me?” Fyve asked, laying down the terms.
He had spoken what we had both been wondering but didn’t want to ask. It almost felt like forcing her to choose would be like forfeiting our right to her. I didn’t want to ask her to choose,although I knew that she needed to. Yet, I didn’t want her to walk away from me because I had forced her hand.
Mya looked between both Fyve and me, and it wasn’t lost on me that usually the roles were reversed. It was usually Fyve and I who were being forced to choose between women. In the past, some females would always place unrealistic demands on us about settling down with them. When we were younger, neither of us had been cool with that shit because we were too young to settle down. I never thought that I’d live to see the day that I had to expect a woman to choose, especially not between my guy and me.
Mya inhaled deeply, walked to the table, and picked up her purse. She tugged it up her arm.
“Mya, where are you going?” I demanded when she walked away from us.
She paused briefly and turned around to look at me.
“Chosen, I love you for everything that you are as well as for all the things that you’re not. I would never change a thing about you. Fyve, I love all the parts of you that the world says are wrong and need to change. Yet, I would never change you, not even all the rough parts, because those are the things that I love the most. Neither of you can change me. I’m going home.”
“You can’t tell us who you want to be with?” Fyve asked.
“I already did. I want you both, and I refuse to choose. Why should I have to?”
“Because you can’t have us both!” Fyve shouted.
“Come on, Mya, quit tripping,” I stated.
“I’m not tripping. I want you both. If I can’t have one, I won’t have either.”
She actually turned and walked away and back through the patio doors of the restaurant.
Fyve turned his head in my direction at the same time I looked at him.
“Ain’t this some shit?” he stated.
I scratched my beard. “She’s still wearing my ring.”
Fyve scratched the back of his head. “She’s so damn beautiful, man. Inside and out,” he mumbled.
I sighed. “It’s the beautiful ones that hurt you every time.”
Wobble
ONE WEEK LATER
V.I.C.’s “Wobble”blared from the speakers as I rolled my ass to the beat. I joined my girls, Tessa and Verity, who went out to celebrate Verity’s cousin, Wynter’s, birthday. Her friends Nature and Peace were with us. I hadn’t wanted to be stuck in the house, depressed after losing the two men I loved.
I knew it was foolish to think that I could hold on to them forever, but they both had snatched my heart. I had never felt more lonely in my life after losing them, not even after I learned that Aaron cheated and impregnated another womanwhile married to me. Our marriage had been on the brink of destruction because of how he ignored and belittled me. Still, I had loved my husband and been faithful to him.
By the time I met Fyve and Chosen, I had lost sixty pounds. I was smaller than I had been, but not as small as I would get. Yet, I was still extremely self-conscious and insecure. Chosen worked on that and convinced me to get the professional help that I needed.
It was two years after my divorce when I entered therapy with Dr. Giselle Champagne, thanks to Chosen. Through therapy, I learned to love myself and realized that Aaron never loved me. I was so much more than my size and my looks, and she empowered me to find that in myself. It was because of her that I decided to do more than just date, but open my heart to the possibility of love.
Because of that, I had fallen deeply in love with both men. I hadn’t even cried as hard over Aaron after learning about his betrayal as I had cried in the week after losing Chosen and Fyve. It was hard for me to just release all of myself to one man after Aaron, which was why I had found happiness in being with both men.
After telling my girls what I had endured over the last week, Tessa and Verity showed up at my house earlier this afternoon. Tessa did my makeup, and Verity brought my outfit. They insisted we were helping Wynter celebrate, and I would not be in the house sulking over two men when I could go to the club and find another one to get under.
Although I hadn’t been in the mood for that exactly, I did get on the dance floor and twerk with a couple of different men. The man I now danced with held my hips and pressed his pelvis against my ass. I pulled forward just a little bit, but he didn’t release my hips.
I was cool with that as long as he didn’t press himself into me again.
