Page 156 of Debts and Desires
Why hadn’t I moved back there? Why did I freeze?
I was shaking, looking back at those headlights in my rearview. I swore I could hear him still calling for me, demanding I stop. My phone was buzzing in the seat beside me, I realized. His name flashing on the screen.
Everything played over in my head. The robbery, how he approached me, the agreement. I was in absolute fear of what would happen if he caught me.
With every twist and turn of the road, I pushed the car to its limits, my heart racing as I fought to stay ahead of him. At some point, those headlights were gone. I didn’t know if it was a trick, if I’d lost him, or if he simply gave up. I didn’t care. I kept going until I was sure he was gone. Then I saw the sign. My eyes stung, tears flowing from them as the last little pieces of my heart crumbled to dust. A sob ripped from me.
Now leaving Hudsonville.
61. DON’T GO
December 25
Day One-Hundred-and-Nineteen
The clock read just after one in the morning and Mac was barking relentlessly.
“I’m gonna kill that damn dog,” I grumbled, reaching out to touch Emmy. Only Emmy wasn’t there.
Must be getting him.
Good. I could go back to sleep. Normally, I would’ve gotten up anyway, but I had no idea why I was so damn tired. I don’t know how much time went by before Mac was losing his shit again. I looked at the clock again, seeing that ten minutes had passed.
“What the fuck?” I grumbled, angry at first. But Emmy still wasn’t in bed.
Something waswrong.
I sat up, turning on the light before I forced myself out of bed. For whatever reason, my gut was telling me to look outside. I made my way to the window, trying to see what the damn asshole was barking at.
My eyes met terrified ones.
Emmy’s car was full of her bags. She was trying to forceanother in. It took seconds before I realized what was going on. She was leaving.
She was leaving?!
“No!” I shouted, my body seeming to finally wake up fully despite the lingering grogginess. After grabbing my phone, I headed over to my discarded pants, throwing them on. I grabbed my shirt off the floor, putting it on as I sped down the stairs.
“Emmy, wait!” I called, hoping she could hear me. “Em!” BJ jumped off the window sill, running and hiding. “Emogen, don’t you fuckin’ dare!” I screamed and Mac started losing his shit once more. I didn’t have time to correct him. I heard her trunk slam shut just as I grabbed the Blazer keys and threw open the door. She had just gotten into her car and was speeding away.
No.No!
There was no way I was letting her get away. Not without talking to me first.
Why was she leaving me?!
Jumping in my vehicle, I followed her as fast as I could, cursing myself for not taking the truck instead. It was out of habit that I grabbed the keys for the Blazer. The old thing couldn’t keep up and her rearview lights got smaller and smaller until I lost her completely.
I pulled out my phone, dialing her number. The first few times it rang and rang before going to voicemail. Then it started going there without ringing and I realized she had turned her phone off.
“Damn it!” I hollered, punching the steering wheel. “Don’t go.”
I knew she was gone, felt it in my gut. There was no way I was catching up. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked the tears away. Then, I took a back road, heading home.
I thought back to earlier. She did seem off, distant. But why? I couldn’t think of anything. Everything had seemed normal the last few days. She’d given no signs of distress or wanting to leave. My chest felt like it was being torn in two.
62. LOVE IS A POISON
December 25
