Page 9 of Debts and Desires
Mia’s well-being, however, lingered in my mind, and I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had about her boyfriend. Yet, any time I mustered the courage to voice my concerns, Mia denied any form of coercion or manipulation.
“I’m with him because I choose to be, Emmy,” she had hissed. Her expression softened. “I know you’re worried, but I need you to trust me. I love Ian and that’s all there is to it, okay?”
“Okay,” I conceded, even though I knew better.
This morning, we were going to another coffee place right before heading here, to the gig in Hudsonville. I had headed to my suitcase for some money, having kept most of it in an outside pocket of the bag. But when I pulled it out, I realized the stack was small.Verysmall. I knew I hadn’t blown through everything I saved. Shock and disbelief washed over me, and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.
Ian.
I had headed out to Mia, explaining. Her eyes widened in disbelief as my accusation hung in the air.
“What?! Ian would never do something like that!”
“Mia, I’m telling you, the money was in my bag, and nowmost of it’s gone. I caught him coming out of my room the other night after he made you cry. It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.” Mia’s face contorted with a mix of anger and protectiveness.
“So, you’re still on this? I told you that he and I are fine!”
“What?! This has nothing to do with that!”
“Just because you haven’t been paying attention to what you’re spending isn’t anyone’s fault but your own.” I could feel the anger building inside me as frustration mingled with hurt.
“And just because you say something’s fine, doesn’t mean it is. You’re not you when you’re with him and I’m tired of you lying about it. He’shurtingyou! You deserve better.”
“Ian has been nothing but supportive and loving to me! You don’t even have proof that he took it, but after your messy break up, you’ve been all anti-men. Now, you’re just looking to blame him for something, too!” Her voice rose.
“My money vanished, and I saw him snooping around the room I’ve been staying in. How could it not be him?!”
“Typical! It’s always been your way or the highway. If you’re not happy, then no one else can be either. Ian said I shouldn’t have let you stay this long.” Tears welled up in my eyes, a mixture of heartbreak and anger. How brainwashed did he have her?
“Why would I want you to be unhappy?” I asked. She didn’t answer. “You’re my best friend, Mimi. I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy, fine. But you’re letting that cloud your judgment here. I didn’t go over my budget. There is no other reasoning for?—”
“I want you to leave,” Mia’s voice had wavered, her own tears threatening to spill over as she looked away.
“What?”
“Ian was right. You’re ruining everything. He said you’d try to tear us apart and I should’ve listened. You need to leave. I don’t want you here anymore.”
“You’re not serious.”
“Iam.” My heart shattered as her words hit me like a tidal wave. “Please just go.”
“Fine,” I had whispered, my voice filled with resignation.
Swallowing my pride, I headed to the room and gathered my belongings, trying to hold back tears. It was useless. Her words resonated deep within me, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.
Mia had been my confidante, my partner in crime, my sister, and the thought of being severed from her felt like a loss I wasn’t prepared to bear.
She didn’t even budge as I walked back into the living room and to the door. The realization of our friendship crumbling before my eyes left me feeling lost and alone.
“I’m sorry, Mimi,” I had whispered. “I love you and I’m sorry.”
Without another word, I left. I walked towards my car, my footsteps heavy with the weight of leaving a piece of my heart behind.
I decided to head to Hudsonville then, using the little bit of cash I still had left for gas and food.
And here I was.
What a great start to fame.
