Page 174 of Debts and Desires
“Carter, I?—”
“Don’t,” he spat. He clenched his jaw and blinked, the tears finally falling from his eyes. “Just fuckin’ go. Please.” I walked to him.
“Carter—”
“I said go!” He didn’t yell, but he did raise his voice. I took a few steps back, turning toward the door, then stopped.
“Why?” I asked.
“Why? ‘Cause you want to,” he scoffed, wiping his eyes.
“No. Why did you do it?”
“‘Cause.”
“Tell me. I deserve that much, at least.”
73. HALF-TRUTHS
March 10
Seventy-Six Days Gone
“‘Cause you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” I confessed.
That night, I had no idea how I ended up in the presence of an angel, but I knew I had to have her.
I ain’t a psychopath… most days. I just don’t have what people call “social skills.” I had wanted to talk to her back then, but didn’t know how without looking like a creep.
“I wanted you the moment you walked out on that stage. You looked like an angel up there, the lights circling your head like a halo, like a sign for me. I wanted to corrupt you, taint you. I felt justified ‘cause…” I trailed, unsure if I should tell her just yet. I sighed and quickly said, “I really only wanted your number. Things got away from me.” My voice was low, almost inaudible. Emmy let out a small laugh, surprising me.
“You could’ve just asked for it.”
“No, I couldn’t’ve. Have you seen you?” My eyes searched hers.
“Have you seenyou?” She threw back. “I would’ve, Carter, ina heartbeat.” I swallowed. “If that’s all you wanted, why the deal?”
“You kiddin’? Any man would’ve taken that.”
Tell her the truth.
Tell her. Tell her.
But I couldn’t, like a coward. At least not then.
Soon. I would have to tell her soon. It’s what gave me the extra push back then, but I figured it’d be no harm done. And truthfully, I really did only wanted her number in exchange for the tow and “work” I’d do to her car. She’s the one that offered more. And I didn’t say no.
“You should’ve been honest. How? How did you do it? How did you know where I was?”
There was no use keepingthatfrom her, at least.
“When you were singin’ your last song, I snuck out through the back, grabbed your keys, and used the fob to figure out which car was yours. All I did was mess with the engine a little so that it would stall. Nothing that wasn’t an easy fix on my end. Then I put your keys back and waited in the alley.”
“Did you really… the gun?” I shook my head.
“No. It was a wrench from my rig,” I admitted. “And I… I got carried away with ya. I could smell the fear… the arousal.” It was subtle, but I saw as she shuddered. “It was wrong of me to feel you up, to do any of it… but when I saw you on that stage, Emogen, I needed to make you mine. And I would’ve done anythin’ to have you.”
“Except act like a normal fucking human being,” she added, voice breaking more. I looked away again. “Yourobbedme at what I thought was gunpoint. TookeverythingI saved and messed with my car. I could’ve died if something went wrong with it, Carter. You, youtrappedme here with that bullshit agreement about days versus hours. You hid my phone, messed with my birth control, and God knows what else!”
