Page 168 of Debts and Desires
February 14
Fifty-Two Days Gone
When Emogen left, she took the sunshine with her. I was a miserable bastard since, and I made sure everyone knew. I just wish I knew why. Why did she leave when everything wasperfect?
The last two and a half months were hell. I barely slept or ate. I didn’t want to do anything.
Poor Mac was a grouch too. He snapped at me once, a few days after she’d left, when I went to sit beside him on the couch. I should’ve corrected it, but I didn’t. If he could talk, he and the damn cat would probably both tell me I was an idiot for letting her go. BJ paced incessantly and Mac howled the first two nights, as if begging for Emmy. I wanted to howl too, instead I was drinking myself stupid until I passed out.
Thanks to Emmy, my shop was slammed and positions were filled now, which was wonderful. It gave me something to distract me from losing her. I was thankful for her convincing me to hire Rob, Joe, Alex—all three mechanics of varying ages—Braden, who was in tech-school doing his apprenticeship, and Kinsley as the receptionist.
I’d been working since four. After being unable to sleep, I said fuck it and headed in early, trying to keep myself distracted. I hated being home anymore, pushing myself until I damn near collapsed by the time I got to my bed. And even when I did start to sleep, I’d get plagued by nightmares, or worse; Mac’s ass. Both he and Bandit slept with me now. I don’t know which of us needed it more.
I barely registered what the radio host was saying, making some announcement about two possible new artists.
“This next one is for everyone that hates the dreaded Valentine’s Day,” the guy said with a laugh. I let out a quiet grunt in solidarity. I never cared about it until recently. It stung, to say the least.
A sad melody strummed out of the speakers, catching my attention. I didn’t know why it did. As soon as the voice started singing, I knew why I’d been drawn to it. No matter what I did, I’d always be connected to her. I closed my eyes and listened.
Her voice was pained, filled with sadness and heartbreak. She talked about love gained and love lost. I wanted to call her and tell her she had never lost it.
The final notes faded and reality sank back in, the sounds of the shop seeming to resume as if everyone else had been just as captivated as I was. They probably were, and who could blame them? Emmy sounded like an angel.
“That was the finalist song, ‘Debts and Desires’ from up-and-coming artist Emmy Rae. She’s one of the top finalists in the Star in the Sky Competition. But with a song likethat, I think it’s safe to say she’s got it in the bag,” the emcee chuckled. “Man, I’d hate to be the jerk on the other end of that song. Who would break such a sweet girl’s he—” I turned the radio off.
Me, apparently.
I looked around, all the guys’ eyes on me. I glared at them. They all moved fast to get back to work.
I still had no fucking clue what I’d done that made her feel like she needed to sneak away in the middle of the night. I guess me chasing her down didn’t help matters either.
With a sigh, I turned the radio back on, switching channels.
“…By up-and-comer Emmy Rae.”
Fuckin’ hell.
She was everywhere.
Everywhere except where she was needed most.
“You made it, Buttercup,” I whispered.
DEBTS AND DESIRES
Verse 1
Caged bird got her wings, but she sang too loud.
Took a leap and paid the price, no hope for me now.
I’m drowning in your absence, yet soaring so high.
A castle can still be a cage, depending on the light.
The sun fades every night, so his love can shine above.
‘Cause you know grief is the toll we all have to pay for love.
