Page 167 of Debts and Desires
“Hush. You’re not a third wheel. And that baby is my baby now, too. We take care of each other. Always.”
Of course, I cried.
Zac knew about the pregnancy now, too, only because I blew chunks in the corner trash can during a one-on-one meeting. He freaked out, not wanting to get sick. I promised him he wouldn’t and eventually had to explain why. He was ecstatic. We were going to keep it under wraps untilafterthe competition. I was scared I would be let go, but he assured me that wasn’t the case.Starry Records was a family-oriented company. Zac and I had definitely grown close. He was like a worried father to me, a father I wished I’d had. I think Tony had an inkling I was pregnant, because he was always double-checking if I needed anything, too. Justin joked and called me the studio’s favorite princess, with the two of them fawning over me.
“Don’t let Chelsea hear you say that,” Sydney had added.
I would’ve felt bad that everyone was always ganging up on Chelsea… if she were a decent person. She was terrible and had made three assistants cry, and another quit. I wasn’t supposed to know, but I overheard Zac and the gang discussing that Chelsea denied any and all help for her final song, saying it was fine how it was and had no room for criticism.
She had her song already recorded. They were just waiting for me.
The past two months had unfolded like a whirlwind of music notes and lingering regrets.
Barely a week had slipped by since I finished the final pieces of the new song. Now we were recording and readying it to debut in a few days. My heart felt like it had taken residence in my throat and my lunch threatened to join me for a duet. I touched my stomach, hoping I could have a moment of quiet. That moment lasted less than thirty seconds when the door behind me opened, jolting me from my thoughts.
“Ready, Em?” Zac asked, closing the door. Sydney and Justin flanked him, both of which gave a smile and a small nod.
“Yep.” I smiled. It wasn’t a genuine one, but it was enough. I made my way through the door to the right of the massive soundboard. Once settled in the booth, I pulled my headphones on and secured my guitar strap around me, giving a shaky thumbs up. Zac held up the okay signal and the ‘now recording’ sign flickered to life. I drew in a full breath, shutting my eyes. Then I did the one thing I vowed to never do again.
I thought of Carter and sang.
I poured every emotion I could into that song, Carter’s facein the fore-front of my mind. I allowed myself to go back to that place of love, when everything was perfect and then when it was all ripped away the day I found my purse. Giving it my all, I sang without missing a note, tears threatening my eyes.
When I finished, the three execs were staring at me, eyes wide, mouths open.
“Do you want another take?” I asked, my voice now quiet, almost raw from the effort I’d put into it. If he wanted another take, I doubt I’d be able to do it. It made me angry for not pacing myself. Zac slowly shook his head no, then pressed the intercom to speak.
“I think that was it. That was the take.” The other two agreed. Despite that ache that had now settled deep in my bones, it was hard not to smile. I would deal with the raw emotions later, putting them behind a mask for the time being.
“C’mon out, let’s have a listen,” Sydney said, Zac already getting to work on the computer beside him.
I made my way to them, a water bottle in my hand the moment I stepped into the mixing area.
“It’s room temperature,” he said with a wriggle of his brow that made me smile.
“Thanks, Tony,” I said. He nodded before moving back to his spot on the couch. I took a drink before sitting on one of the chairs beside Zac. It took a little, but the four of us—and Tony with a few solid suggestions—worked together until the song was almost done, damn near ready to be aired. I could’ve cried.
Eventually, it was just Zac and me.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay. Just tired.”
“Need anything?” I shook my head and smiled. “You sure?”
“No, Zac. I’m okay.”
“Why don’t you head home and get some rest? This is pretty much done and I can call you when it’s finished.”
“Actually, I wanted to wait and listen to it when it airs. For the full experience, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it is! I’ll send you over the details once we have them. Let me walk you out.” Even if I wanted to argue with him, he wouldn’t allow it.
I drove home in silence, my mind floating back to Hudsonville, Georgia.
Where I had left my heart.
69. SLOWLY BREAKING
