Page 160 of Debts and Desires
When I asked what she thought, she told me to just think about it all at a later time and the answer would come to me.
But I couldn’t.
Anytime I thought about Carter, my heart hurt.
Had I waited a week before leaving, I would have been with Carter for four months exactly.
Two days after I’d arrived, he called again. I didn’t answer and this time he left a voicemail. I didn’t want to listen to it. I couldn’t.
64. SLOWLY CHANGING
December 31
Seven Days Gone
“You sure you don’t want to come?” Mia asked as she slipped an earring in. I shook my head.
“I’m sure.” The thought of being out and around people made me nauseated and more exhausted than I’d been. My daily routine consisted of two things: sulking in bed and sulking on the couch.
“Okay, well, if you change your mind, just call or text. We’ll come get you.”
“I appreciate it. But don’t hold your breath,” I sighed. She rolled her eyes but still smiled. Mia was a saint for putting up with me the last few days. And Cal, too.
“How do I look?” she asked.
“Stunning.” And she did. She had a beautiful silver dress that clung to her body like a second skin.
“I’d say,” Cal’s voice came from behind. He was leaning on the door frame, wearing black slacks, a black button-up with a silver tie that matched Mimi’s dress. He eyed her like she was the last drink of water in a scorching desert.
“Your eyes are bugging,” I teased. He finally looked away from a blushing Mia.
“I swear she’s trying to kill me,” he said to me and I laughed.
“Probably. R-I-P, Cal. Nice to know you,” I said. Cal tilted his head, closed his eyes, and stuck out his tongue, playing dead.
“You ready?” Mia asked, annoyed.
“Yes,” he answered with a chuckle. Her eyes found mine again. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I promise.”
They were going out to a New Year’s Party at the new studio Mia worked for. She’d invited me, and while it was tempting, I just couldn’t get myself to want to go.
I’d been obsessing over a few new lines in a song, trying to mold it into something, and put all of my energy into it.
Sins etched deep in your skin,my heart,my soul,
desirein your hands.
Of course, it was about Carter, no denying that. But I pretended like it wasn’t to ease that small ache inside me.
Spoiler: it didn’t really work.
I sat on the couch, relaxing in the silence while I worked. Mia and Cal had been gone at least an hour now and it was nice to have the space to myself for a moment.
My phone rang, surprising me. It hadn’t rung in days and the only person that had called me—other than Mia, to see what food I wanted for dinners—washim.Only it wasn’t. I didn’t recognize the number at first, but then I did. My stomach dropped, palms beginning to sweat as I answered.
“H-hello?”
