Page 153 of Debts and Desires
“You find it, baby?” he called from the bay.
I had to get it together and quick. I wrapped my purse back up in his jumpsuit and put it back how I found it. I opened the other door, locating and grabbing the wrench he’d asked for. I closed the door, jumped and screamed. He flinched, worry knitting his brows.
“Geez, baby, I’m sorry,” Carter said. I took a deep breath in as his eyes roamed over mine. “You find it?” I nodded, quickly handing him the tool. “You okay?”
“No, I’m not okay, Carter, you just scared the shit out of me!” I said, playing it up.
“You didn’t answer.”
“I didn’t hear you. I was too busy trying to find that.” I nodded toward the wrench in his hand. “I forgot what size you said,” I said a little more quietly. “And I didn’t want to come back and ask because I wanted to figure it out.” The bitterness and resentment I now had made the lies flow easily. I looked up into his whiskey eyes, the same eyes that were once the keys to everything. “I’m sorry.” I had to look away because if I kept looking at him, I thought I might hit him.
“It’s alright… You okay?”
“Yeah.”
We headed back into the shop and I resumed my place on the tire stack.
What made it all worse was how much I loved him. How much Istillloved him, despite whatever reasoning he had fordoing something so vile. How had I not connected it? I closed my eyes and thought back to that night.
“You’re gonna count to thirty before you turn around,” he said, pressing the gun harder into my ribs. “You turn around before that, I’ll shoot you. Understand?”
I forced myself to remember every detail I could.
The man’s smell was clean, and a tinge of gas and oil. Citrus. There was citrus to it… Like Carter.
The man’s voice was deep, gruff, and with an accent. Carter’s accent.Carter’svoice, only deepened to disguise himself.
The man was tall, big, the same frame as Carter, the same warmth as Carter.
His grip on my body had the same possessiveness as Carter’s, too.
And the waymy body had reacted to that man was the same as it always reacted to Carter’s.
All I could do was wonder why? Why did he do it? Was any of this real? Did I meananythingto him?
My head was spinning. I felt sick.
“Baby?” Carter called, startling me again. I looked up. “You don’t look so good.”
“I don’t feel all that good,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. My stomach was in knots as he looked me over.
“You want me to take you home?” he asked, his voice soft.
“P-please?” I responded, fighting back every emotion I could.
Carter gave a nod and set his tools down and began locking everything up. Once the ‘we’ll be back’ sign was in place on the main door, Carter drove me to the house. I told him I could walk myself so that he could get back because I knew he had a lot of work left. But truthfully, I didn’t want him touching me. For once, he listened, and I waved him off before heading in.
Once inside, I watched as he left. And once I was sure he wasn’t coming back, I all but fell to the ground, sobbing. Mac jumped off the couch and came running to my side, licking my hands and face as I clung to him.
I needed to leave, and soon. But I wanted to have a plan. Iwas sure Carter knew I’d seen it and I wanted to play it safe. If he was the one who had robbed me at gunpoint, it was hard to say what else he’d do. Memories of his words flooded my mind, times where he said he’d make me stay or keep me here forever. I ran to the bathroom, realizing he more than likely hadn’t been joking.
“Oh, God,” I cried, just before emptying my stomach into the porcelain bowl. Mac let out a few whimpers, nudging me with his nose as I completely unraveled.
By the time I was done, my body had nothing left to give. I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave, not when I was like this. Especially because I feared I would need to fight him off if he caught me. I backed myself against the wall and hugged my knees, burying my face in my arms as I sobbed.
Would Carter really hold me captive here?
He wouldn’t.
