Page 40 of The Arrangement
That was why work was a good thing right now.
Work would stop my brain from thinking about Rome because I needed to focus on the research paper I’d promised a peer I would review. There was a stack of fossils that needed cleaning and freeing from rock. Some other reports were rollingin regarding a possible dig site for next spring. Work. Work. Work. It would save my poor brain before it was too late.
Oh, but I was so fucking wrong because I had two different distractions waiting to pounce on me as soon as I stepped into the lab.
First was Emily.
At a glance, I could see that she was already way too awake, perky, and ready to pepper me with questions. This was my doing. I was the insane person who’d confided in her about Rome’s stupid arrangement and the so-called dates we were going on. The woman was tracking my progress like the talented scientist she was.
In other words, she was keeping a logbook of details about where we went, what we wore, what we ate, and so much more. I was beginning to believe she was more anthropologist than paleontologist.
“Sooooooo,” she drawled out the moment the door closed behind me.
“Emily, there’s not enough coffee in the world for you wearing that smile on a Monday,” I grumbled as I dropped onto the wheelie stool behind the computer. I jiggled the mouse to wake it from its weekend sleep and typed in my password.
“Don’t be like that. You’re going on your firstgaydates. That’s exciting.”
“I’m not gay, Em,” I replied in an even tone. A month ago, those words might have shaken me to my core. Now, when Emily teased, there was barely even a ripple on the pond. Was this how she wore me down?
“You’re going out on dates with a gay man.”
“He’s pansexual.”
Silence.
I could feel her judgy eyes burrowing into the back of my head. The second I could no longer take it, a sigh slipped frommy lips, and I spun to face her. Ignoring her prodding wouldn’t work. Besides, she was not only my one friend; she was also homosexual, which gave her insight into things I was trying to understand. Right now, talking to her felt slightly less painful than attempting to talk to Rome.
“We went to the symphony on Saturday. I met a bunch of his friends.”
“Were they nice to you?” Her inner Mama Bear reared its head, and a smile tugged at my heart.
“They were very nice and welcoming. I’m not sure what he told them about me, but at least they were polite and kind to my face.”
Some of the tension that had entered Emily’s body oozed out, and she returned to her previous slouch. “Good. Did you have fun?”
“Yes, it was amazing. His violinist friend is incredibly talented.”
“What about after? Did you go to dinner? Drinks? Dancing?”
I snorted. “No one will ever get me out on a dance floor.” She made a face like she intended to argue, so I pushed ahead. “We went for a short walk in the park across from Music Hall. Talked. Actually, we talked a lot. Mostly about his friends. I talked a little about college and my ex-wife.”
Emily made an encouraging noise, waiting for me to continue, but I wasn’t sure what to say. Did I admit to her I was a horrible klutz and would have fallen down the stairs of the gazebo if Rome hadn’t caught me? That news wouldn’t have surprised her.
Or should I tell her that in those seconds, when I was in Rome’s arms, the whole world had just stopped? My heart had exploded at the feel of his strength. I’d felt as if I were suddenly being roasted in the heat that rose from him. Better yet, my lips had tingled as I’d gazed up to find his mouth so fucking close tomine I could feel his harsh breaths brushing across my face. That some insane part of my brain had screamed for me to lean in and kiss him like he’d kissed me so long ago.
No.
No, I couldn’t tell her any of that because it wasfucking insane.
It didn’t make any sense. I was straight. Period. End of story.
But I wasn’t a complete moron. I knew those weren’t entirely straight feelings.
Right?
Fuck.
“Anything else?” she asked.
