Page 4 of Her Magnificent Mistake
“Uncle, did you know that the blue whale has the largest penis of any mammal on this earth?”
Maxwell “Hawk” Hawthorne, newly minted Baron Tostinham and unwilling listener of marine biology facts, managed not to drop his champagne flute at his niece’s casual question, though it was a close thing. He’d already tripped on the stairs as he was admiring the fine woodwork of the balustrade, almost knocked over a very delicate vase on a very precarious plinth, and heard a few snickers about his unsuitability to the title as they stood to the side in the unbearably hot ballroom.
He didn’t need to addbroken crystalto the list of inappropriate attributes Society would be whispering about tomorrow.
But while he kept his grip on the flute, he whirled to gape at the young woman standing next to him…and in doing so, splashed her gown with some of the sparkling beverage.
“Oh, look what you have done,” she tsked, patting at her skirt. “Such a shame. We will have to go home now. How utterly devastating. Lawks.”
Since this was delivered in her typical deadpan, Hawk merely scowled. “Nay, we cannae leave until ye’ve had yer first dance. And for the love of God, Allie, watch what ye say.”
His niece, Allison, merely shrugged, her silk ballgown rustling. “I was tired of you ignoring me. I thought an interesting fact might?—”
“That wasnaeinteresting,” Hawk sputtered, his gaze sweeping the gathered crowd from under lowered brows, hoping no one had heard her. “That was deliberatelylewd.”
“Yes,” she chirped with a grin. “But it worked. You are speaking to me, are you not?”
“Fook,” he muttered, and lifted his flute to swallow his champagne in one gulp.
Likely something else for Society to judge him poorly on.
Being here was torture. This ballroom, this crowd, thiscity. Why the hell did the London season have to be inLondon? Why did they have to attend the season at all?
And the worst part was, he knew the answer; he just didn’t like it.
Allie tsked again as she spoke in a loud, clear voice. “If I cannot speak of whale penises, then you should not be allowed to say words likefook.”
Hawk snatched the champagne flute from her hand. “For shite’s sake, Allie,tryto behave! What was the point of all that expensive schooling, if not to teach ye how to be a lady?”
His niece shrugged unrepentantly, eyeing her drink as he raised the glass. “Why should I want to be a lady?Youdo not have to act like a gentleman.”
“That’s because I’m not used to playing a gentleman!” he sputtered, shifting again so he could glare at the crowd instead of his niece, and downing her champagne. “I dinnae like it.”
Since this last part was said in a mutter, he hadn’t expected her to respond.
He should be used to her doing the unexpected by now.
“Well, I do not like it either. When can we leave?”
Sighing, Hawk did his best not to crush the crystal in his ungainly fists, knowing there were plenty of eyes on him…likely wondering why he was grippingtwoflutes as if they were lifelines.
No’ soon enoughwould have been his answer to his niece, but in the last month since Allie’s return from finishing school, he’d learned to watch his words around her. The nineteen-year-old was a suffragist in the making, and had no qualms about speaking her mind.
Should’ve sent her to clown school instead. Would’ve done as much good.
Still, he tried to hold onto his patience. “We cannae leave until we’ve spent a respectable amount of time hobnobbing. Society needs to accept us.”Me as a baron who is trying his damnedest to pretend he finds value in the niceties and gossip instead of a woodsman who’d rather be out hitting something with an ax…and ye as a debutante.
“I have hobnobbed left and right at the other events you have dragged me to, Uncle Maxwell.” The lassie didn’t look at him, but rather swept her disinterested gaze around the room. “You said this was the last ball, and tomorrow we can leave for Tostinham.”
Aye, and Hawk’s soul was ready for the balm of the estate. Still, he managed not to sigh wistfully. “Bright and early tomorrow morning, lassie,” he said gruffly. “I swear it. But tonight, we mustpretendto be cultured and refined. For both of our sakes. And it wouldnae hurt ye to dance a few more times.”
Allie snorted.
Actuallysnorted.
“I will dance ifyoudance, Uncle Maxwell. Let us dance together, then we can be gone.”
Her general disregard for Society functions made Hawk’s lips twitch, but he hid the almost smile with another scowl. “Ye ken that willnae work.” Still, at least she was thinking of escape routes. Giving into her prompts, he craned his head over the crowd. “Perhaps we could find our hostess, make our apologies, then quietly sneak out?”
