Page 10 of Look at Her Duke
For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. In the light from the ballroom over her shoulder, his blue eyes glittered with a fierceness she didn’t recognize.
Finally, he took a deep breath. “Ye, Mellie. I left because of ye.”
Her knees weakened, chest tightening in horror.Her?She’d been the one to chase away her brother’s dear friend? She’d been the one to cause Alistair such loneliness, and Kipling such homesickness?
“What did I do wrong?” she croaked.
“Nothing.” Kip’s whisper was feather-light, a caress. “Everything.”
Staring up at him, she tried to make sense of what he was saying. His hand lifted, reaching to cup her cheek, but he hesitated, hand hovering.
This was bad. This was very bad. He couldn’t even touch her?
Amelia’s eyes were burning.Do not cry, do not cry, do not cry. “Kipling?” she whispered again.
“Och, Mellie.”
When he said her name like that, full of yearning, like it was a curse and a blessing, she didn’t hate it.
“I left because ofye.” Finally Kip’s fingertips rested against her cheek. “For so long, ye were just wee Mellie, Alistair’s youngest sister. Passionate and stubborn and outspoken. I thought of ye as a younger sister—always there, and even when ye were being annoying, I cared for ye.”
He…cared for her?
Cared for you like a little sister! Pay attention! That isnotwhat we were going for!
“And then…” He took a deep breath and dropped his hand. “And then ye grew. I came to visit Alistair one day, and ye were suddenly no’ a lass any longer, but a young lady. Abeautifulyoung lady. Almost eighteen, a lady grown… But I kenned I could no’ lust after ye. No’ after I saw what ye’d become.”
“What I had become?”
His gaze was almost sad. “Perfection. I couldnae stop thinking of ye, Mellie. It waswrong, to lust after Alistair’s younger sister, to desire ye, to need ye—particularly having nae title, nae prospects. I was a coward. I couldnae handle the guilt and temptation and anger at myself. So I left. I ran away, and I’ve stayed away.”
Her heart was pounding in her chest and her lips parted, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
He’d…lusted after her? Kip thought she was beautiful?Perfect?
He’d known her for most of her life, known her eccentricities, known her hoyden behavior, known her outspoken beliefs, known her nonsense…and he still thought she was perfect?
Tears were absolutely prickling at the backs of her eyes.
“Mellie?” Kip’s eyes looked sad. “I’m sorry to frighten ye like this. I hadnae intended on telling ye, truly. I thought I’d come home and ye’d be married and I could forget my obsession.”
Obsession.
Amelia swallowed. “I am…glad you told me,” she whispered. “Because…”
“Because?” Kip prompted when she trailed off.
She found herself leaning toward him again, unconsciously pushing herself up onto the balls of her feet, balancing herself in her dancing slippers, reaching for him with her lips, her breath, her verybeing.
“Because I felt the same way about you,” she breathed. “I have spent two years missing you as much as Alistair has, though differently, I’ll admit. I knew I had no claim to you, but I used tolivefor your visits, your smiles, your voice. Even if it was just a glimpse.”
Kipling’s eyes closed on a whispered curse, and then he was pulling her against him. “Mellie—” he began.
“Whatis going on out here?”
The new voice—strident, shrill—cut through the peace of the balcony. Before Amelia could suck in a breath, Kipling had set her apart from him and was doing his best to appear nonchalant.
“I asked a question!”
