Page 78 of The Duke's Mysterious Lover
Selfish? Is that how he viewed this, this perfect moment?
Of course that’s how he views this. This is how you were created, remember? Your father was an evil selfish bastard, and he didn’t think ahead when it came to being with Mother.
“Oh, Thorne.” Her hand found his cheek. “I don’t regret this. I don’t regretanyof this.” She willed him to understand. “And if there are consequences, I won’t regret them either.”
“A child—” His voice was choked.
“Yourchild, Thorne.” She smiled softly. “I wouldn’t regret that. How could I?”
It was the truth.
It was thetruth.
The noise he made then was somewhere between a growl and a sob. In one movement, Thorne stood, lifting her effortlessly. Before she had time to react, to even think of speech, he’d placed her on the bed and was fetching a basin and warm cloth to clean her.
His touch was gentle, soft. Caring.
Since the afternoon he’d asked her to marry him, he hadn’t spoken of his love again. But he didn’t need to, because Kit recognized it.
She recognized it, because she felt the same way.
When he tossed aside the cloth and pulled back the counterpane to slide between the clean sheets, Kit happily rolled into his warmth. His arms circled her and she pressed a kiss to his jaw. “It’ll be alright, Thorne,” she vowed. “I promise. I might be illegitimate, but my mother didn’t love me any less because of it.”
That illusivesomethingflickered across his expression again, and he looked away. She assumed it was guilt, and hated that he felt that way.
“Oh, love,” Kit whispered, tucking herself against his shoulder. “I wish I could take some of your burden.”
He cleared his throat. “Ye said—earlier…” A deep breath. “I want to shower ye with words of affection. I want to tell ye what ye mean to me.” Why did he hesitate, then? “I ken that isnae what ye want, and I’m trying no’ to be selfish. But Iwillsay that having ye in my life makes my burdens so much easier to bear.”
Praise—for anything other than her musical talent, which sheknewwas special—had always made Kit uncomfortable. Same with talking about feelings; it was much easier to change it into teasing.
So she nudged him and smiled against his bare skin. “Even if it’s just listening at doors while you break into safes?”
His arm tightened briefly. “Thatwashelpful.”
“I have to admit, it was remarkable, being able to watch you work tonight. I know you’ve put all that behind you, but you are an impressive physical specimen.” To underscore her words, she dragged her palm across his chest.
“Aye, well, Blackrose was a demanding master.” A heavy breath, then he cursed. “Christ, Kit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for it all. I’m sorry I dragged ye into this, I’m sorry I cannae take away yer pain, I’m sorry yer father’s an arsehole—”
She’d sat up before his firstI’m sorrywas complete, pressing a kiss to his mouth to stop the litany. “I’m sorry my father is an arsehole too, Thorne. I’m sorry for the pain he caused you.”
“Kit.” His free hand closed over hers, pressing it against his abdomen. “I wish I could’ve been at your side tonight when you faced him.”
There was pity in his eyes, and instead of pushing aside the realization in defense, Kit forced herself to inhale, exhale, face it. “It wasn’t…he didn’t recognize me. He didn’t evenlookat us, not really.”
Thorne hummed, the pad of his thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” she spat, then realized she meant it. With a sigh, she sank back down to rest her chin on her fist, which she propped on his chest. “My feelings toward him have never been charitable. Yes, he sent my mother money to raise me, money I know now was ill-gotten. But I would’ve rather had afatherin my life. I can remember asking Mother once why she didn’t marry so I could have one, and she laughed and told me there was no reason, not when she had fame and fortune and freedom.”
Thorne winced, his gaze locked on the canopy above him, as though he didn’t want to meet her eyes. “Is that how ye felt?”
Was it? Kit scowled at her own indecision. She loved Thorne, and while it was incredibly flattering for him to ask her to marry him for a second time, sheknewhis world wouldn’t accept her as his duchess. He knew it too.
“It’s not like I had loving parents as role models,” she pointed out. “Not like you. But…” She blew out a frustrated breath. “It’s not like I’ve ever cared for him, but finding out my father is genuinelyevil…” Not liking the way her stomach had begun to clench, throwing off the pleasant stupor of post-orgasm, she rolled off Thorne until she was also staring up at the canopy. “I want to help you take him down. I want to help.”
“How?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know yet.” Although there’d been an idea, quietly festering in the back of her head, all evening. “I don’t know,” she repeated. “But I want to be there when he goes to prison. For you and Bull and your friends, but also for my mother and myself.”
