Page 30 of The Duke's Mysterious Lover
To confess that he was afraid he was falling for Kit in a way he’d only expected to fall for the woman he’d one day marry.
Oh hell.
“You know, Your Grace, the point of this endeavor was to jolt you from your melancholy. Don’t fall back into it.”
Kit was back to calling himYour Grace,then. “I’m no’ melancholy, ye cheeky bastard,” he muttered, eyes still closed. “I’mpondering. Cogitating. Conundruming.”
The lad breathed out a chuckle. “Well, perhaps you should consider cancelling your engagement tonight, so you can cogitate in bed, with your eyes closed. Because you look ready to drop.”
Tonight in bed. Those were the only words that Thorne remembered. If he said yes, would Kit stay with him? Talk him through another release? Allow Thorne to curl around him and feelsafe?
“I cannae,” he rasped, not in answer to Kit, but in answer to his own foolish longings.
Kit hummed. “Yes, I suppose youmustgo to the event tonight, since Lady Stallings asked you to wear green specifically. Your new waistcoat should be delivered in plenty of time.”
“She wants me to match her darling.” His stomach soured at the thought. “Lady Emma is wearing green, and I am no’ at all surprised her mother is hoping to match us in Society’s eyes.”
And he wasn’t the only one—and the distaste Lady Emma’s other suitor left him with…
“Ah,” Kit murmured, as if he understood. Perhaps he did. “And do you know Lady Emma well?”
“Nay, other than in passing. She’s the type of partner I avoid at these things.” Young. Innocent. Predatory.
Kit shifted in his seat. “Then how do you know she’s not for you, Thorne?” he finally asked quietly. “You’ve said you’re looking for marriage—”
“I’m looking forlove,” he interrupted before he could think better of it. “I told ye that. And Lady Emma is currently vying for the attention of an Earl I despise.” Although she was welcome to Blackrose, if she didn’t mind becoming a widow young. “Any interest she shows to either of us is intended to make the other jealous.”
“So she’s not the kind of woman you’d want to love.”
Woman. It felt so strange to be speaking of women, andwives, when it was the young man at his side he wanted to gather into his arms.
But last night, Kit had spoken of Thorne’s theoretical wife.Had said all the things Thorne had dreamed of. His wifewouldlove him, would care for him. Would know what she wanted in the bedroom, and ensure Thorne would give it to her. Demand it.
“Nay,” he whispered, eyes still closed, uncertain who he was answering.
The coach rocked around a turn, and Thorne swayed in his seat, pushing out one hand for balance. His palm landed against the leather of the seat, the last two fingers of his hand inexplicably resting atop another hand.
Kit’s hand.
Last night, Kit somehow crawled into Thorne’s mind, hisheart, and wrapped him in warmth.
Unable to stop himself, Thorne crept his hand sideways until it covered Kit’s. And—miracle of miracles!—after a moment, Kit turned his hand under Thorne’s, until the lad could twine his fingers through his.
Somehow it was easier, here in the darkness behind his eyelids, to confess the truth.
“What ye said, Kit…” Thorne swallowed, hating the hesitation. “Last night. I want that. I want a wife who wantsme. Someone who seesme.”
“I can understand that,” his valet confessed in a murmur. “I’ve no intention of marrying, but if I did, I would want someone who loved me for me. Not because of my role, or what I looked like, but…but because of my heart.”
Thorne’s hold on the man’s hand tightened. “None of my friends have married typical ladies, and they’re deliriously happy. Their wives are strong, and capable and intelligent, and all the other things I want. I dinnae want a woman who dances with me only because matching my waistcoat to her dress will improve her social standing.”
HeheardKit smile, which should have been impossible. “But you love dancing, Your Grace.”
“Aye,” he drawled, reluctantly grinning. “I do. But on my terms.”
“How about your wife’s terms?”
He snorted, acknowledging the point. “Her terms would be more important than mine.” A deep breath. “And when I find her, if I ever find her, I’ll hold her close, no matter what shite is happening around me.”
