Page 42 of Kilty By Association
Except…mayhap ‘twas. This is what Agnes had wanted, and Elspeth had left her as the Lady of Dungotit, to her shame.
Elspeth hated it.
“Then change it back,” Brigit had said nonchalantly, as if ‘twould take no effort.
Elspeth winced at the suggestion as she was readying herself for bed. “’Tis no’ so simple.”
“Nay, but ye’ve done it once, aye?” When Elspeth raised her brow, her maid shrugged. “When ye were married, Dungotit wasnae the home ye wanted, but ye made it one. Scone wasnae the home ye wanted either. Well, ye’re back here now, and Agnes is going to have to take a hike.”
“A hike?” Elspeth teased as she climbed between the blankets atop the huge mattress. She couldn’t help but think how well Craig would fit here with her. “Where would she hike?”
“Anywhereaway from here, milady,” her maid finished cheekily. “She’s a bit of a pain in the arse, aye?”
“A bit,” Elspeth agreed sleepily.
“So do it, milady,” Brigit urged, blowing out the candle. “Change Dungotit into the home ye want. The home ye remember.”
The welcoming home Craig had seen.
Craig.
Now they were in Dungotit, he was taking his role as Robbie’s bodyguard seriously. She rarely saw him, and when she did, they didn’t exchange secret smiles or flirtatious glances, as they had on the journey.
‘Tis because this is why he’s here. Ye want him focused on Robbie. Dallying with ye was merely a distraction.
Aye, and she was honest enough to know that Craig had been a distraction for her as well.
But still, ‘twould be nice to be able to join him in bed at the end of each day, to tell him about her struggles and listen to him update her on how well Robbie was fitting into his new role.
But he doesnae want that. He’s given ye nae indication. He’s here because the King gave him a mission, no’ because he cares for ye.
The way she cared for him.
Aye, she knew ‘twas for the best, but that didn’t stop the ache in her heart each time she saw him lift Katharine atop his wide shoulders, each time he leaned a bit to be able to have a serious conversation with Robbie, each time Mary gleefully toddled to his outstretched arms.
Allof her ached for him. Ached for what might have been had they been different people.
Best to focus on what ye can change.
On her third day at Dungotit, Elspeth visited the village. ‘Twas good to see the Sinclairs once more—to visit the baker, the chandler—and receive their welcomes and smiles. She was there with a specific purpose; to bribe the old cook into returning to Dungotit kitchens. He’d quit in anger after Agnes had treated him particularly poorly, and the food wasn’t nearly as good anymore.
It took all afternoon—and quite a lot of friendly conversation—to convince him to return because things would be different these days. Then she hurried to the scullery to mediate a disagreement between two of the Sinclair women.
‘Twas…well, ‘twas good to be home. She still had some time ahead of her, setting things to rights, but ‘twas good to have a goal, something to work toward to distract her from the emptiness in her chest and the pit of her stomach.
Robbie was settling in and was safe. She should be happy.
But after a sennight of butting heads with Agnes and trying to reverse the changes the other woman had made, thinking herself Lady of Dungotit, Elspeth had had enough. She needed fresh air. She needed tofly.
That evening, she mentioned at dinner her desire to go riding the following day. Robbie perked up. “May I go as well, Mother?”
Elspeth’s face split into a grin. “I wouldlovethat, Robbie. Would ye tell me everything ye’ve been learning from yer uncle?”
Her son nodded eagerly. “And I’ll race ye to the loch.”
She laughed in joy, already imagining it. A chance to ride, a chance torace? And a chance to spend time with her beloved son? She couldn’t wait.
Agnes, of course, sniffed disapprovingly. “Ignoring yer responsibilities for a frivolity? Ikennedyer family would make terrible stewards of Dungotit.”
