Page 63 of The Duke's Wicked Widow
Ellie forced her eyes open and managed a small smile. “It will not—” Her breath caught on a sob, before she managed to continue. “Long now. Until it falls out.”
Frowning suddenly, Merida pulled her finger from her mouth and leaned closer. “What’s wrong, Ellie? Are you crying? You’re crying. What’s wrong?”
There was no use denying it, not when the evidence was obvious. “I am just…feeling sad this morning.”
She didn’t expect the little girl to flop over on the bed and curl up facing her. Merida put her hand under her cheek and peered solemnly at Ellie.
“I don’t want you to be sad,” she whispered, one little hand hovering just above Ellie’s cheek before she wiped at the tears that continued to spill. “I don’t like being sad.”
The two of them faced one another on their sides, and Ellie’s entire world became the serious green eyes before her, reminding her why she’d made the terrible choices she had. She’d just wanted to save Merida, give the little girl a home, a place to be safe. Ellie hadn’tmeantto hurt another person to do so.
The tears began to leak out again.
“I—” Her voice cracked again. “I do not like being sad, either.”
“Why are you sad?” Merida whispered. “Is it because of my tooth? If it falls out, it won’t hurt, Ellie.”
Ellie’s lips twitched. “It is not because of your tooth, honeybear. I am sad because I hurt someone.”
“Did they hurt you first?”
Leave it to a six-year-old to cut to the heart of the matter. “No. He was kind and wonderful and sweet and gen—”Well, no, he was not gentle, but I loved the way he made me feel all the same. Hecaredabout my feelings, which has never happened before.“He made me feel special.”
“You makemefeel special,” Merida immediately reassured her.
This time Elliedidsmile, but it was sad. “I am glad. I should have tried to make him feel special, but I am afraid I hurt him. I did notmeanto hurt him, but I did.”
More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.
Frowning, Merida wiped them, her palm lingering on Ellie’s cheek. “When I’m sad, I try to think of happy things to make me smile. Remember that puppy?”
Tramp. “Yes,” Ellie admitted, remembering the way the dog had looked with its nose squished through the opening of Fawkes’s door last night. “He certainly likes to bark.”
“I wonder if Mr. MacWhateverHisNameWas still has him. He was cute.”
“Mr. MacMillan,” Ellie corrected gently. “And yes, he still does.”
The little girl’s eyes lit with excitement. “I wonder if I could see him again?”
“Perhaps,” Ellie whispered.Unlikely.
She’d hurt him. After the pleasant haze from their encounter—from her orgasm—had cleared, she’d been able tohearthe wounded tone in his voice. She’d seen it in his eyes.
And his anger had made sense.
How could she have been so selfish? When she’d made this plan to save herself, save Merida, she’d glossed overhisfeelings. Fawkes MacMillan had been a faceless, irrelevant penis, really, capable of giving her a baby with Rufus’s blood leaving no one the wiser.
But now sheknewhim.
Well, apparently she didn’t know him well enough; that had been his point last night. She hadn’t stopped to think how he wouldfeelabout her demands, she’d just made them. She’d been selfish enough to think he’d enjoy himself and that would be enough.
She hadn’t asked his permission to create a baby with his seed; she’d just told him the plan and taken it.
He was a bastard, one shunned by his family because of his illegitimacy, and it made sense he didn’t want to create another bastard.
“You know what makesmefeel better when I’m sad?” asked Merida, suddenly pushing herself up on her elbow. “Going outside! We should go outside and play in the square. It’s a nice day, Ellie!”
Slowly, Ellie shook her head. “I do not think so, love. My stomach hurts, and I am not good company.” She felt wrung-out, exhausted. Lord, it wasn’t even ten in the morning.
