Page 133 of The Duke's Wicked Widow
“Nay, ye cannae just—” He blew out a frustrated breath. “Love, it’s easy tosay…”
She turned to wrap one arm around his shoulder, her fingers weaving into the hair on the nape of his head. “Why not?” She wasn’t teasing him, but her eyesdidsparkle with something he couldn’t identify. “You forgave me.”
Again, with this?“Ye needed me, and it was understandable.” Besides, despite his anger, he’d been more than happy to give her what she’d wanted; his seed.
But she shrugged, her fingers sending small shudders down his spine. “Until you pointed out how self-centered I had been, I had not considered—”
“Ye did what ye did because ye thought ye needed to in order to save Merida. It was a noble intention, although unnecessary.”
Ellie leaned and placed a kiss on his jaw. “And you did what you did in order to save your mother. Yes, the steps were more convoluted, but the horrible things you have done were done because you were protectingher.”
He swallowed, his gaze searching her face, wondering desperately if she reallydidunderstand. And forgive him?
“Yer father,” he began, but she cut him off once more.
“Was an evil man. I know that now.”
But Fawkes was shaking his head. “Ye cannae just dismiss my crimes against ye so casually. Aye, hewasevil, and in league with Blackrose, but he was still yer father.”
“So? What is your plan?” Shite, shewasteasing him now, aye? “Are you planning on groveling?”
Despite the seriousness, Fawkes felt his lips twitch at the playful light in her eyes. “Thornewastelling me about something called a Grand Gesture. Apparently Demon bought Georgia a bunch of flowers which started with the letter G.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I was unclear. Something to do with groveling. Tell me what ye want, love. Flowers? Gingerbread? Another puppy?”
Making a little noise which might’ve been a laugh, Ellie lowered her head to his shoulder, her fingers still gently stroking his scalp. When she spoke, it was low enough he had to strain to hear it.
“A home. That is what I want, Fawkes. It was why I came to you in the first place, to become pregnant and force myself on a home which was not right for meorMerida. Rufus might have technically been my husband, but his house…”
Fawkes felt his chest tightening as he listened, trying to guess at her meaning. His arms shifted, so that he held her closer. She took a deep breath, her voice stronger.
“I was welcomed at Cumnock House because Rufus’s family wanted a connection with my father. But when Rufus became ill and died, I was superfluous, no longer necessary. And Merida…” She shook her head. “Poor Merida had no idea what it was like to have a childhood. Not really.” Ellie lifted her head and met his gaze. “Not until she met you.”
Fawkes frowned, trying to understand.
“Rufus did right by her,” she explained, “But he never truly cared for Merida’s happiness, not the way you do. The very first time you met her, you began to teach her things, to worry about her future, to care about her happiness.” Ellie lifted her free hand—the one with the cursed wedding ring—to rest against his cheek, and Fawkes was certain she’d feel the way his pulse was pounding in his temples. “Youcare, Fawkes.”
His throat was dry. He opened his mouth, but no sound emerged.
“I married Rufus because my father told me it would become a love match—we were both young and from good families, so ofcourseit would be a love match.” When she smiled, she didn’t bother hiding the gap between her teeth. “But I realize now all I felt for him was obligation. I never loved him the way I love…”
Fawkes stopped breathing.
Her smile grew. “The way I love you, Fawkes MacMillan.”
The silence stretched as he stared into her eyes, and saw the possibilities staring back. His heart was beating so loud, he wascertainshe’d be able to hear it. Finally, he sucked in a breath.
“What did ye say?” he rasped.
“I love you. I fell in love with you, I think, when you tucked me into your own bed and made me a cure for my cramps—no.” Her fingers were now stroking the stubble along his jaw. “No, I think I fell in love with you before that. When, no matter how angry you were with me, you still cared enough to ensure I enjoyed your touch. Until I met you, Fawkes, I had no idea a woman could feelpleasurethat way.”
She was…speaking. Words were coming out of her mouth; he could see it moving. There were words, lots of them. But his mind couldn’t seem to comprehend them. All he had heard was:
“Ye love me?”
Ellie made a little sound which might’ve been a giggle and leaned over to kiss his chin again. “Yes, Fawkes. I love you. And our time together at Hangcok Hill was the happiest of my life, despite its brevity.”
