Page 116 of The Duke's Wicked Widow
He pulled the folded deed from his jacket pocket and offered it to his mother, wishing he didn’t sound so bland. “Ye should sit down.”
“Oh, nay,” she whispered, even as she took it from him and lowered herself to the sofa.
“Nay, it’s no’ what we feared.” He was quick to reassure her, darting forward to sit by her side. “Here.”
Gently, he took back the paper and opened it. “See? The auld arsehole left Hangcok Hill and all its environs and incometo me.” At his side, he heard her suck in a breath, and when he turned, her eyes were shining with surprised tears. “Ye’ll have a home, Mother, for the rest of yer life.”
“Nay, my lad.” Ignoring the way she was crushing the paper, she gripped his hands, green eyes staring up into his, a watery smile on her lips. “Ye’llhave a home. Och, Fawkes, this is…” She sniffed, but didn’t look away. “This is wonderful. Ahome. Someplace permanent. Someplace ye can pass on to yer children. Ye couldmarrynow, settle down. I never thought the duke cared…”
Fawkes had pulled his hands from his mother’s grip when she’d spoken of hischildren. Aye, there’d been a time, only a few weeks ago, that he’d thought of his child. The one Ellie had wanted to create with him. The one they’d tried, under strange circumstances, to create. It had filled him with anger; the thought of not being involved in that child’s life, not seeing him or her grow up.
But that was before he’d lost his heart to her. Before he’dlost her.
“I wouldnae say hecared, Mother,” Fawkes managed stiffly, focused on smoothing out the wrinkles. “He likely just felt guilty about ruining yer life.”
To his surprise, she placed her weathered palm on his cheek and turned his face to hers. “Oh, my son,” she murmured. “Heneverruined my life. Aye, my family wanted nothing to do with me, but I’ve never missed them, or Society. I amhappyhere with my wild land and my conservatory and my gardens. And I had ye.”
The last was said in a whisper and he searched her face for understanding.
“To bear a child out of wedlock…” he began.
Her smile was almost sad. “It was no shame for me, Fawkes, because I hadye. Aye, there were times I wished ye had a father, someone to teach ye and love ye alongside me, but I tried to be all that for ye too.”
The deed fell to the floor as he reached for her. “Ye were,” he managed, his voice catching in his throat. He pulled her small head—the hair now streaked with gray—against his shoulders. “I love ye, Mother.”
“And I love ye, dear boy, more than ye’ll ever ken. And Ikenye, too. Which is why I’m asking ye…” She pushed herself upright once more, a fierceness in her eyes. “Whydo ye look as if yer heart is broken? Thorne brought ye a deed to a home, and left with the woman ye love, aye?”
“Her sister—”
“Is laboring, aye, but why are ye no’ by her side? Supporting her? Supporting them both?”
Ten minutes ago, he wouldn’t have explained. He would have brushed off his mother’s concerns, made excuses. But now, after what she’d said…
He shook his head. “She found out…who I am.”
Who I was.
Mother clucked her tongue. “Who ye are is a magnificent chemist, my lad. One who helps people. No’ just me, but those around ye. If ye move back home there are so many people here—women in particular—who need yer way of helping. Imagine the good ye’d be able to do for the people who live nearby! Imagine how wonderful it would be to live away from the smog and the crime of London!”
That smog and that crime had been his life for so long, it was hard to imagine leaving. But…Hangcok Hill was hishome, and now it actually belonged to him. He could return and manage it and settle in to helping the people of Scotland.
And be constantly reminded of Ellie and Merida and the joy they brought ye.
He suspected that would be the case, no matter where he was.
Fawkes sighed. “Ye dinnae understand, Mother.”
“What is there no’ to understand? Ye’re brilliant, my boy.”
“Allmothers think their sons are brilliant,” he muttered with a roll of his eyes.
She nudged him. “Aye, but in this case it’s the truth. I dinnae ken the full story—I hope ye notice how good I’ve been, no’ asking for details or nagging ye for the history?—but it’s clear ye love her. And it’s clear she loves ye. Is whatever happened between ye enough to keep that from mattering?”
At her casual claims oflove, Fawkes shoved himself to his feet and began to pace, so his Mother had been forced to raise her voice for the last part. “Iwasadmiring yer restraint,” he muttered, “In theno’ askingdepartment.”
Mother snorted. “Is it, Fawkes? I dinnae want details, the Lord kens, but is it enough to ignore the feelings ye have for one another?”
I killed her father!
