Page 25 of From Best Friend to Bride
Ugh. What a thought.
“You’re not alone, Maggie,” Nana replied. “I could have sworn there was something between them when they were kids. I once caught them kissing, you know.”
Kill me. Right here, right now. Choke me with a scone or something. Anything. Literally anything.
“I thought I did once, too, but Fred said he was just getting a knot out of her hair,” Granny mused.
How the hell did she even remember that?
Weren’t you supposed to lose your memory with age?
How were these two sharper than me?
“Well, if our Fred can’t be her husband or vet her partners, I suppose he’ll be the standard we must hold her boyfriend to. If he doesn’t treat her as well as Fred, it won’t work. He treats her like a princess, after all.”
The captive princess of an enemy nation, maybe.
Granny hummed her agreement. “I’ll judge Deli’s lover the way I’d judge my own grandchildren’s,” she assured Nana. “Although, I’ll never stop hoping these two see reason and realise they’re perfect for each other.”
“They really are. And they know each other so well. There’d be none of those nasty surprises down the line.”
“I completely agree with you, my dear friend. You know, I’d seriously have reconsidered marrying Albert if I knew about his chronic snoring. Thank God, Fred hasn’t inherited that.”
“If that isn’t a good reason to marry him, what is?” Nana said, daintily taking a cake from the stand. “Of course, Deli doesn’t snore either, but she does sometimes talk in her sleep. She once won Crufts with our old dog, Benny, you know.”
I had no recollection of that dream whatsoever. Honestly, that sounded like a bit of a good thing. That dog was absolutely fucking mental—he could barely chase a tennis ball without going off on a tangent, never mind complete one those fancy agility courses, so God only knew what Benny Boy was doing winning Crufts of all things.
“That’s just what makes her charming,” Granny replied. “I do hope that boyfriend of hers isn’t too mean to her.”
They’ve forgotten I’m here, haven’t they?
“Oh, I feel the same. You know what people are like these days. They’re sweet as sugar until they’ve got you hooked, then you really find out who they are.”
That’s enough dating reality television for Nana.
Granny nodded slowly. “And our Deli is just so gullible, isn’t she? She’s too nice to everyone. I worry she’ll get swept up by a ruffian.”
Who? Me? Too nice?
What world are these two old coots living in?
“I know, Maggie, I know. I do hope you’ll keep an eye on her when I’m gone. Make sure nobody is taking advantage of her and all that.”
It’s you, Nana. It’s you two taking advantage of me right now.
“I just don’t think she’s going to introduce us to her boyfriend, Judy. It might be better if we stop pushing her. I know you want to meet him, but you’re not leaving us just yet, and I’m sureour Deli doesn’t want to introduce someone if they’re not too serious.”
I don’t want to introduce anyone. There’s nobodytointroduce.
“Oh, I know, I’m just so worried about her. What if she never meets the right person and she’s left all alone?”
Someone call the BAFTAs, we’ve got winner of the lead actress over here.
“I won’t allow it, Judy, dear. I’ll make sure our Deli is well looked after. Besides, you know Fred would never abandon her.”
That’s debatable.
“But he’ll get married one day, Maggie.”
