Page 182 of From Best Friend to Bride
And why did everyone in this place wake up so goddamn early?
“I watch TikTok, you know. I see those prank videos.” She whirled around and pointed a finger at us. “This is a prank, isn’t it? Are you trying to make my heart give out? Don’t you two whippersnappers mess with my emotions like this!”
“We’re doing nothing of the sort,” Fred replied. “We’re husband and wife. We can kiss if we want to.”
“You two don’t kiss.”
I cleared my throat. “She has a point.”
Fred grabbed my chin and planted his lips on mine. “We do now,” he muttered, kissing me again and again.
“Mmph!” I squeaked out, blushing at the show he was putting on.
“It’s too early for this.” Aunt Vi sighed. “Stop it before you give your grandmother a heart attack.”
To be fair, Granny looked like she was one kiss away from it.
“Is this—is this real?” She widened her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her heart.
“No, Granny. I regularly kiss women I’m not in love with,” Fred said dryly.
She gasped, then smacked Aunt Vi’s upper arm. “They finally caught up with what the rest of us knew! Yahoo!”
I tugged on Fred’s dressing down. “Husband, I’m scared.”
He looked down at me, lips curved into a devilish smirk. “Call me that again.”
“What, ‘husband?’”
“Mhmm. That.”
“Husband,” I repeated.
He pulled me against him, and I heard the soft rumble in his chest as he fought back a groan. “Mum? Granny? Would you mind leaving us alone? We’re in the middle of a conversation.”
“Yes, yes, you go back to your conversation,” Granny said brightly, shoving Aunt Vi towards the door. “Don’t worry about Spice. I’ll take care of my great-grand-cow. All day if you’d like. And, Delilah, dear, you’re ovulating about now, just so you know.”
How the hell did Granny know my cycle?
“You two go back to talking about my great-grand-babies.” She pushed Aunt Vi outside and pulled the door almost closed, just sticking her face through the little gap as Fred released me. “The morning is a great time for it when you’re all full of energy, you know. Just remember not to get up too quickly, Deli. Gravity will work—”
Fred put his hand on her face and gently pushed her out of the door, shut it, and decisively locked it. “Later, Granny. Thanks for cow-sitting.”
“Gravity will work against the sperm, kids!” she hollered. “Okay, have fun, be bad!”
I blinked at the door. Fred looked as bamboozled as I felt, and we kind of just stared at one another in shock for a moment before bursting out laughing.
“We’re not actually… doing that, right?” he asked after a second.
I tapped my left arm. “She’s got another year on her, don’t worry.”
“Well, you can explain that one to her. And ask her to refrain from the biology lessons, would you?”
“She’s your grandmother.”
“She’s yours, too.”
“Yes, but she’s only yours when she’s irritating. It’s like kids. Olivia is my niece when she’s being a sweet little snookums, but when she starts screaming, she’s most definitely Lucy’s daughter.”
