Page 158 of From Best Friend to Bride
“I don’t want you?” His voice echoed with disbelief. “You think I don’t want you?”
“I know you don’t! You’ve made that perfectly clear. What other man would turn away a woman offering herself to him?”
“Are you talking about last night? Fuck, Delilah, you were drunk. I didn’t want you to do something you’d regret.”
“And I told you I wouldn’t regret it!”
“You were still drunk!” He slammed the door shut behind him and shoved his hand in his hair, briefly turning away from me.“If I let you do that when you were under the influence of alcohol just to get off, I’d be nothing more than a piece of shit. I respect you too much to take advantage of you like that. Youknowthat.”
I said nothing, and he ran his fingers through his hair, linking his hands at the back of his neck.
“Fuck. What a joke.”
Heat coloured my cheeks. “That’s right. I am. So, let me—”
“Do you have any fucking idea how hard it’s been for me? To sleep each night with you clinging to me like a koala? Pressing your body against me?” He turned back, his blue eyes blazing with a ferocity I’d never seen before. “Have you got any fucking clue how difficult it is to live with you when all I want to do is touch you? Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my hands to myself each and every night? I’ve been fuckingkillingmyself over here for months, telling myself that our friendship is more important than anything. Telling myself that I can’t touch you because losing you would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. And you think I don’t want you? Shit.”
My heart thundered at his words.
What was he saying?
I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t. My mouth was so dry, and my tongue felt fuzzy. Not to mention that I could barely breathe as his words sank in.
“More than that, how could I not want you? Fucking look at you.” He waved his hand towards me. “You think I lie when I tell you that you’re beautiful? That you look gorgeous today? You think I’m lying when I call you my pretty wife? Sure, it started as a joke, but it’s the damn truth. You’re the prettiest girl in the world in my eyes. You always have been.”
“Fred—”
“How can I not want you when I’ve been treated to months of hearing you get yourself off in that very fucking bed?”
What?
Wait.
Wait.
Waitwaitwaitwait.
What?
“Do you know how hard it’s been for me to not burst in here and make all my dirty thoughts about you come to life?” He clenched his jaw. “Keeping my hands to myself has been the hardest, most painful thing I’ve ever done. And you think I don’t want you?” He laughed bitterly. “No, I want you, Delilah. I want you so badly that it’d be less painful to cross a desert with no shade and no water than to keep holding back.”
“Hold on!” I held up my hands and, through laboured breaths, said, “You’ve heard me masturbating?”
“That’s what you took from everything I just said?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
He stared at me, a darkness tinting his gaze. “Yes. This isn’t an original wall, and you’re not exactly the quietest.”
Kill me.
Right now.
My cheeks flamed.
No, shit, my wholefacewas on fire.
“So… So… Wh—what wereyoudoing listening to me?” I sputtered. “Y—you should have told me! Pervert!”
