Page 96 of From Best Friend to Bride
Fred was a man.
Holy shit.
Fred. Was. A. Man.
Aman.
With a working penis.
That might have been getting erect because of me first thing on a morning.
And this morning, I’d been wearing one of my skimpier sets of pyjamas and had crawled towards him. He’d told me to put on a bra.
Had he seen my tits?
My cheeks flamed, and I put my phone on my lap so I could cover my face with my hands.Oh, no.
How could I ever go home? I could never look him in the eye again. If he’d woken up a bit on the perky side this morning, what must he have felt when I’d crawled towards him like a cheesy extra in a noughties romcom movie?
It wasn’t even a good angle to peek at the girls. Leaning forwards without a bra…eeeeh. Every woman knew they kind of just… hung there… losing all their good shaping. There was no way that was an attractive look.
Jesus, what was I thinking? My boobs weren’t the issue here. Fred’s penis was. Then again, it wasn’t even like I could bring it up. How the hell did one even broach that subject?
What, was I going to ask over dinner?“Here’s the salt, Fred. By the way, do you pop a boner because of me every morning?”
No. Absolutely fucking not.
There was absolutely no way to ask anyone that question. Ever.
But how was I supposed to get an answer? Was I just meant to wake up before him and try to sneak a peek? Like, “Excuse me, don’t mind me, just seeing if you’ve got a stiffy before you take a shit!”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fred was a man.
I was a woman.
He was attractive. I was apparently attractive.
We were married.
And Fred was aman.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that information?
20
DELILAH
“All right, that’s enough.” Fred slammed his hands on the bed and stared at me. “It’s been three days of this, Delilah. Three days of me waking up and you staring at my crotch like a gremlin is going to come crawling out of my ballsack.”
I pulled the covers up over the bottom half of my face to hide the reddening of my cheeks. “I’m not staring at your crotch!”
“Are you saying I’m imagining it?”
“You might be. Your thoughts can be a little out there, babykins.”
“Well,wife.” The extra intonation on ‘wife’ sent a little shiver down my spine as he leant closer to me. “I know I’m not imagining it. Why are you suddenly so interested in my genitals?”
