Page 63 of From Best Friend to Bride
So much uncertainty.
Did everyone feel this way before they got married? Or were my emotions so heightened because of the deceitful nature of this wedding?
Would I ever be able to justify this guilt I felt?
In fact, I didn’t want to. I wanted to hold onto it. I wanted to shoulder this burden for us both.
I was the prat who’d suggested we get married, after all.
If I hadn’t opened my big mouth, Deli might have found a way out of it.
“Fred?” Max rapped his knuckles against my bedroom door and poked his head around it. “You good in here?”
I turned back to face my best friend as nausea rolled in my stomach. “No, not really.”
He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. “It’s not too late to back out.”
“No. I won’t if Deli won’t. It’s her call.” I shook my head and turned to the bowtie hanging over the back of the armchair. “Do you know how she is?”
“Ellie said she’s fine. Well, she is after Lucy gave her a shot of something strong to calm her down.”
I laughed and clenched the bowtie to my chest. “You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?”
“For marrying your best friend? No,” he said slowly. “For doing it in this manner? A little bit, yes. I know you truly mean it when you say you don’t have any romantic feelings for Deli,but I have to ask you again: What happens if that changes, mate? The fact that you’re married will always be in the back of your mind. You’ll be falling asleep together, waking up together, and even the stuff you usually do together might feel different. What if that change affects how you feel about her?”
I grimaced and looped the tie around my neck. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought about that, as if I hadn’t run over every possible scenario in my head a thousand fucking times.
“She asked something similar the night I proposed,” I said, focusing on tying the bow. “She’s worried about the same thing. I promised her we’d figure it out.”
Max sighed, raising his hand to run it through his hair before catching himself and dropping it again. “The one thing you can’t let change is how you communicate with each other.”
I eyed him, fighting back a smile. “What’s this? Relationship advice from my oldest friend?”
“Hey, are we forgetting me?” Will stepped into the room. “I can help here, too.”
“Ah, yes, the man who lied to his girlfriend about his identity is exactly who you need,” Max said flippantly. “Actually, they faked their relationship, so he might be helpful for once. Go on, Will, give him your best tips.”
“Grace wasn’t exactly honest with me either,” Will reminded him. “As for advice about faking it… Probably not the best person to ask. I fell in love with her in one weekend.”
Yeah.
I did not want his advice.
“Are you here to help me or scare me?” I asked dryly, but my nerves settled a little at their presence. “I don’t want to hear about how you fell in love in your fake relationship.”
“Don’t speak to Matt, then. We’re two for two around here when it comes to faking it and falling in love.”
I sighed out a laugh and sat down on the chair. I leant forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and clasped my hands in front of me. “This is different. Matt and Eva were already seeing each other, and you and Grace didn’t have anything holding you back, Will. Our situation is nothing like that.”
“Yeah, just lifelong best friends who know everything about each other. There’s no chance you’ll fall in love.” Max snorted as they both sat down. “If your goal through this is to maintain your friendship, then you need to be smart. Communicate, like I said. You two have never hidden anything from each other, and you need to continue that.”
Will nodded slowly. “If you feel anything changing, you have to be honest with each other. Distance yourselves if need be. You know where we are if you need to escape to clear your head.”
“Yeah, thanks.” I flexed my wrists, rolling my laced fingers in a gentle massage. “We have separate rooms—she can access it through my room.”
Max raised his eyebrows. “You won’t be able to hide that, mate.”
“I know. She often works until closing at the pub and obviously she isn’t quitting. The story is that she has a separate room so she doesn’t wake me when she gets back since we have different sleep schedules.”
