Page 57 of From Best Friend to Bride
Relief that we were in this together. That we could be honest and open with each other like we always were. That neither of us had to bear the guilt of lying to our families alone.
Yeah.
If I had to fake-marry anyone, I really was glad that it was him.
The meal continued without much of any input from us both. Nobody questioned our uncharacteristic silence, likely because they all knew that Fred was proposing tonight. It didn’t matter much because this lot were perfectly capable of keeping four conversations running simultaneously, so I was able to poke my way through my meatballs seasoned with guilt without any questions.
When we were done, Fred rejected dessert and shot me a meaningful look. I followed suit with my own refusal, and hequickly excused us, helping me up. With his hand on the small of my back, he guided me out of the dining room.
When we were a good distance from everyone else, I sighed out a huge breath and ran my fingers through my hair, briefly pausing to work out a small knot. I sank against the wall and closed my eyes for a moment. “That was exhausting.”
“Mhmm,” he replied, leaning against the wall opposite me. “Sorry to say it isn’t over yet.”
“Yeah, I worked that much out for myself.” I glanced across the hall at him. “Suppose it’s better to get it over and done with, right?”
“Right.” He rolled his head from side to work, working his neck muscles. “Are you all right?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah.” I folded my arms across my body and rubbed my hands across my bare upper arms. “It’s just weird, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I know.” He eyed me. “Deli, if you want to back out, we can do it now. This is our last chance.”
I stilled, and my gaze went to my left hand. It lingered there for a moment before I flicked my attention towards his pocket and the small bulge there.
And no, it was not his manhood.
“You mean once you propose tonight, there’s no backing out.”
He drew in a sharp breath, then chuckled, his shoulders sagging as he let it go. “I thought you’d figured it out. Nothing gets past you, does it?”
I motioned in the vague direction of the dining room. “Our families aren’t exactly discreet.”
“Yeah. I let them get carried away because I thought you’d prefer a heads up. I couldn’t tell you, because I knew you’d act like…” He hesitated. “Well, this.”
Yeah.
Made sense.
“But I’m just saying, all right? We don’t know how long we’ll have to keep up this act. If you really aren’t sure, let’s go back in there and come clean. Tell them we’re sorry, but we can’t do this, and it was never supposed to go this far.”
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, then stopped. What could I say? No? Let’s not do this really stupid, idiotic, fucking moronic thing like get married?
Actually, yeah.
I could say that.
In fact, it was exactly what I should have said.
But instead, what came out was, “Do you think I haven’t thought of that? I can’t do it, Fred. You didn’t see her face when I said we were together. Now, every time I think of backing out, I picture Nana’s devastated face. I just… I can’t do that to her.” My voice thickened towards the end, and I looked away from him.
My eyes traced the elaborate parquet flooring.Zig, zag. Zig, zag. Zig, zag.The repetitive motion was grounding, and I folded in on myself further, stretching my arms until I was holding myself as tightly as I could possibly manage.
Fred’s arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me against his chest. He locked his arms around me tightly, and after resting his chin on the top of my head, sighed.
“Areyousure?” I asked softly, opening my eyes, only to be faced with his bicep. “About this? Marriage is a bigger deal for you than for me. Temporary or not, I don’t want this stupid idea to ruin your life.”
“Nonsense. ‘I temporarily married my best friend to make her dying grandmother’s dreams come true’ is the kind of thing that makes women swoon, you know.”
“Oh, so I’m just a tool for you to seduce your future wife?”
