Page 32 of From Best Friend to Bride
“Maybe you need the doctor for your hysteria,” he quipped.
I grabbed a cushion from the sofa and launched myself at him, beating him with it. He laughed, and it was interspersed with grunts every time I got a good hit in on him.
“All right, all right,” he said, wrestling the cushion off me. He tossed it back to the other sofa and sat me down, pinning me in place with his hands on my shoulders. “I admit that I perhaps got a little carried away.”
I glared at him.
“A lot carried away.”
“You almost got us out of it. Why did you open your stupid mouth again after the whole ‘I’ll wait until Deli is ready’ speech you gave? You almost had us home free!”
He frowned. “Home free? We’d still have to fake a relationship.”
“Faking a relationship is a hell of lot more convenient than amarriage, Frederick.”
“Good point.” He paused, pressing his lips together. “What if we get someone to pretend to be a registrar and fake a marriage certificate?”
I twitched. “I beg your pudding?”
“Fake it. We don’t have to actually get married. I’m sure I can convince someone I know to help us fake it.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t that solve the issue of us having to get divorced or annul it? We really would be just pretending.”
“Fred. My dear, sweet,stupidFred.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“What now?”
“That’s bloody illegal!” I snatched the pillow from behind me and resumed my earlier beatdown. “I am not going to jail because you couldn’t keep your gob shut!”
“What if—ow, owwww, Deli!” He snatched the cushion and clamped his arms around me, fixing mine to my sides so I had no choice but to stop. “We wouldn’t submit anything. We’d just… stage a wedding, that’s all.”
“And when our grandmothers ask for the marriage certificate?”
“Do you really think they’d do that?”
“Do you really think theywon’t?”
He hummed. “Yeah, you win that one.”
I really wished I could take pleasure in that.
“Ugh.” I shuffled out of his hold and sat on the other end of the sofa, hugging my knees to my chest. “Why didn’t you just stop talking? Why did you say you were ready to marry me? Don’t you ever use your brain?”
He cleared his throat. “Might I remind you that we’re in this mess because you opened your big mouth.”
“And you offered to marry me.”
“Because you opened your big mouth.”
“All right, all right, geez.” I rubbed my hand down my face. “Let’s agree we’re both at fault.”
“How is any of this my fault?”
“Because you almost had her when you said you’d wait for me, but then you said you’d marry me, and now you’re planning a romantic proposal at my demand,” I said flatly.
“Ah.” Fred rubbed the back of his neck, moving his head from side to side. “Yeah. Well, we’re in this together now, so I guess we better figure this out.”
8
FRED
