Page 24 of From Best Friend to Bride
Granny nodded. “Yes, that was a perk of having a boy and a girl in the house. Neither of them was interested in the others’clothes. Whenever Fred lost something, I knew I’d either find it at your house or you’d bring it back eventually,” she said, looking at me warmly.
Nana sighed. “I don’t know why these two haven’t gotten married. They’re practically in a relationship—they’re the only ones who don’t realise it.”
“That’s true. Why, just the other day, I walked into Fred’s office and found them cuddling on the sofa!”
“We weren’t cuddling,” I argued. “I was upset, and he was consoling me.”
“By cuddling you.”
“I—” I stopped. Okay, so she was technically correct, but it wasn’t like I’d just climbed into his lap for a lovey-dovey snuggle, was it? I cried, so he hugged me to make me feel better.
That was normal best friend behaviour.
“I don’t know who your boyfriend is,” Nana started, taking her glasses off to clean the right lens with her handkerchief. “But I have to say, he must pass the Fred-check.”
“The Fred-check? What on Earth is that when it’s at home?”
“It means Fred must approve of your future husband or I won’t allow it.”
“Why is my marriage contingent upon Fred’s acceptance? You can’t tell me I should date him then assign him a fatherly role, Nana.”
“Because if your husband is good enough for Fred, he’s good enough for you.”
I blinked at her.
The woman was insane.
On the other hand, thatdidgive me a cheeky little out of the whole situation I’d gotten myself in. I could just bribe someoneto be my boyfriend, make Fred not approve of him, and bam. Problem solved, right?
I already knew he wasn’t a fan of Danny…
No, no.
That was a very dangerous path to walk down.
Before I knew it, Fred really would be the final hurdle for any future relationships I had.
That was almost worse than thinking about the clusterfuck of fuckery I’d get myself into by pretending I was into Danny.
“Absolutely not,” I said. “Fred cannot be the one approving of my relationships. That’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Why’s that, dear? He’s a good lad, that one. He won’t be too unkind.”
Granny nodded. “That’s right, sweetie. You know Fred wouldn’t do you wrong.”
Um, excuse me, Granny, have you forgotten the whole situation where he proposed to me to lie to your best friend?
“I’m not having this conversation anymore.” I waved my hands in front of my face and reached for my tea. “This is getting too crazy. I’m not going to parade any boyfriends in front of Fred, he’s not going to approve of them, absolutely not, no way.”
Nana paused, then bobbed her head. “You’re right. I suppose that would be quite cruel to him, what with his soft spot for you and all.”
Oh, Jesus bloody Christ, take the wheel, would ya? Steer this conversation elsewhere, please.
Like off a cliff.
“Very true, Judy,” Granny agreed, nodding along with her until I thought their heads might fall off. “I’ve always thoughtour Fred might have a little something for Deli, so asking him to vet her partners would be too much.”
Did she have a mirror to a parallel universe where we were married with three kids or something?
