Page 116 of From Best Friend to Bride
She giggled like I’d just given her the juiciest bit of gossip she’d ever heard. “Have you used them?”
“Me? No. Delilah?” I dropped my hand and stared at her. “Oh, she’s very fond of that little bendy, sucky thing you put in there.”
“Ooh!” Ellie’s eyes widened. “Are you—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not using it. I haven’t even touched it. I’m assuming it’s that one because she was positively delighted the first time she saw it, and it’s the only one missing.”
“Aw, Fred. I didn’t take you as someone with such fragile masculinity. Are you threatened by a little sex toy?”
“Hardly. There’s nothing wrong with my masculinity, thank you.” I rubbed my hand across my forehead. “I think I have too bloody much of it right now.”
“Hang on.” She sat forwards, her eyes widening even more. “How do you know she’s using it if you aren’t?”
“Don’t make me answer that. Please.”
She sat still for a moment, staring at my shoulder, then gasped loudly and sat back, clapping her hands over her mouth and drawing her knees into her chest. “Noooo!”
I knew exactly what conclusion she’d just reached, and unfortunately, it was the correct one.
Nothing got past her. It was quite unnerving.
“Oh, that’s gold.” She grabbed her phone, then stilled. “Sorry. Do you mind?”
“Do I mind if you write in your book that I can hear my best friend and fake wife getting herself off with a sex toy every other night? A little bit, but you’re going to twist this into your book somehow regardless of what I say, so you might as well.”
She giggled in glee, unlocked her phone, and paused again. “Do you think Deli will mind?”
“When you sent her those early copies of your last book, she buddy read it with my mother and squealed, ‘My God, I want this man to nail me like a hammer,’ in the middle of the garden, so no, I doubt it. Knowing her, she’d be honoured to be your muse and ask you how else she could assist you.”
“Really?”
“Yep.” I stared at her. “Everyone within earshot rushed over to see what they were reading and bought out the bookshop the day it came out. It was something I’ll never forget.”
“Aw.” She touched her hand to her chest. “I’ll put you both in the acknowledgements of this one.”
“Please don’t.”
Ellie rolled her eyes as her thumbs flew across the screen. “Thanks, Fred. I’ve been needing a bit of spice. I think a nice masturbation scene where the hero smashes one out to her moans in the next room will do the trick.”
She had such a way with words.
She was also hitting a bit too close to my very shameful home.
“I didn’t say you could write my biography,” I grumbled. “You might as well ask me to ghost-write the fucking scene.”
Ellie stilled, then tossed her phone beside her and squealed. “Fred! Tell me everything!”
“I’ve already told you far too much.”
“Oh, no.” Max strolled into the library and glanced between us. “Did she get you again?”
I nodded, sighing. “When doesn’t she?”
He turned to his girlfriend. “Did you at least get something good this time?”
Ellie got onto her knees, using the arm of the sofa to lean towards him, and grinned up at him. “The best!”
“Good.” Max kissed her before pulling off his tie. “What did she extort out of you today?”
