Page 38 of Still Forever
Jaxon’s voice had been on loop in my head for the last 48 hours, like a song I couldn’t skip. I tapped my pen on my notepad, looking at the patient who sat on the couch. She gave me a blank stare, as if I was the one who needed help, and maybe I did.
“Can you explain to me the symptoms that you’re experiencing?” I asked as I held the pen between my fingers and tried to write the notes for the second or third time.
“Doc, am I in the damn matrix? This is about to make me go crazier! I’ve told you this four times already,” She groaned, slapping her forehead.
“Hey, hey, calm down!” I said as I got out of the chair and kneeled down in front of her. “I’m sorry. Maybe I missed it in my notes, but I promise you that it’s not your fault.” I said truthfully.
Today was August 20th, and I had been struggling to do anything for the last two days. I halfway expected Jaxon to have found a way out of his arrangement already. But the time had already wound down, and his wedding was scheduled to take place in just three hours, and it was all I could think about. With each minute passing on the clock, I felt like I was suffocating.
“I’ll tell you what, Mercedes, let’s put a pin in our session, and I’m going to connect you to one of the other doctors who might be able to assist you today.” I smiled as I held her hand to stop her from pulling out her hair. She nodded and gathered her things, still frustrated, but she complied.
I scanned the schedule, found someone free, and then we walked down the hall so that she could see another psychologist in the building. The second I got back, I shut my office door and changed my status toout of office.
My forehead hit my palms. I knew I should have stayed home, but I had been driving myself crazy for the past day. Even when my body forced me to rest, I woke up in the middle of the night, wondering if the last time that I saw Jaxon would actually be the last time that we got to be together.
A knock came on the door. “Come in,” I said dryly.
“Hey, Boss, I know you just set your status to out, but they’re waiting for you on the ‘Great Minds’ training. It’s your turn to lead the group.”
“Uhhhh! I forgot about that, thank you. Lock the door behind you, please,” I groaned as I turned toward the computer screen, unlocked it, and opened the invite.
“Sorry for my tardiness…” I apologized as soon as I logged in to the meeting. I didn’t have any preparation, zero coursework, and no outline. My brain was fried, courtesy of Mr. Jennings.
Still, I pasted on a smile and stumbled through the session. Every so often, I glanced at the clock, and even when it seemed like my mind was occupied by what I was teaching, it was still on the minutes that kept ticking without a word from Jaxon.
When we wrapped up at 3:53, I knew it was over. By this point, I had lost any hope that Jaxon would return. By now, all their guests had arrived, were sitting, and Jaxon had probably walked down the aisle and was waiting for Remy to walk out. The organization was probably there, all in black, with fake smiles, asthey put a stamp of approval on a forced situation. I hoped her dress was ugly, and they gave him a size twelve shoe instead of a size thirteen.
I felt so naïve, still waiting for that man to find a way out of the very thing that bound him to our entire relationship. Mandates and guidelines. Felt even stupider listening to Remy as she sat across from me and told me how she didn’t want me to give up hope of reconciling with Jaxon, like she wasn’t about to marry him herself. They both played in my face, and if I ever crossed paths with them again, Judah better keep his phone charged so I could call him for my bail.
By 4:05, I cracked and called Storm. As soon as she answered the phone, I burst into tears, a blend of anger and sadness.
“Aww, friend. I hate him, and I hate this for you. Calm down and stay where you are, I’ll be there in thirty minutes, please don’t get on the road like this.” She said sympathetically. I could barely get the words out as I hung up the phone.
After the worst of it, I pulled myself together. My eyes were swollen, and my chest hurt. But somewhere in the mess of it, I admitted my own role. Whether it mattered now or not, I knew I had played a part in this. Maybe if I hadn’t walked out the door trying to prove a point, my man wouldn’t be saying ‘I do’ to another woman. That’s what I get for trying to be Billy bad ass.
4:45, the doorknob turned, before short raps knocked at the door. I wiped at my face with my sleeve and grabbed my phone and purse, ready to leave the second she came in.
“Storm, I’m-”
My words stopped dead in my throat.
It wasn’t Storm. It was Jaxon.
Standing in the doorway like my entire world hadn’t just crumbled, like there wasn’t a wedding that should have been taking place right now. A massive bouquet sat in his arms—flowers I couldn’t even recognize because the second I saw him, my vision blurred.
For a second, I had refused to believe that any of it was real. Because for the last 48 hours, I had replayed how this exact moment was supposed to happen. But then he said lowly, “What’s up, KD?” with a smirk, and the dam broke.
I was in his chest before I even realized I’d moved and clutched his jacket like it could keep him here forever. He held me with just as much urgency, one hand holding the vase and the other cradling the back of my neck and holding me so tight that I could barely breathe. My tears flowed freely. It wasn’t a clean cry either; these tears were from all the months of longing, pain, anger, and disbelief.
He kicked my office door closed, set the flowers on my desk, and grabbed my hand. When he got down on one knee, my breath hitched so hard it hurt.
Then he pulled a black velvet box from his back pocket. His voice was steady, but his eyes told a different story.
“Kennedy Lauren Davenport, I told you that I will always come back to you. No matter who or what tries to separate us, I love you in this lifetime and the next. Will you marry me?”
I broke again. Not just crying, this was full-on ugly crying. The kind that made you hiccup and fight against the snot that was threatening to make an appearance. Kerry Washington had nothing on me at this moment. My hands went to my face, but my shoulders shook so hard that he didn’t even wait for me to answer.
He got off his knee and pulled me into him again.
