Page 22 of Still Forever
“Preciate you, Rem,” I said as I rose from the chair and clicked on the document she had sent me, then exited it. I went up the stairs to find the room where I would be sleeping. I hadn’t closed my eyes all night, and I was tired as fuck. I needed to sleepoff my adrenaline and recharge my mind because I had moves to make.
CHAPTER 9
Kenn
The sound of the waves crashed around me as I sat in the darkness of the night listening to the music they made. The beach had always been one of my favorite places to come and clear my mind, but coming in the calm of the night just elevated the level of peace it brought.
My feet were thrown over Taj’s lap as he rubbed them. We had been sitting here in silence for the last couple of minutes, and I was grateful that he just let me take some time to clear my mind. He wasn’t lying when he said he would be patient with me, and I could feel myself opening up to the possibility of us more with each day we spent together. He was…. safe. And I stopped fighting it because maybe I needed safety. I had decided to go with the flow, and if that meant giving him a real chance, then that was okay.
Our day had started at eight o’clock this morning when he asked me not to go into the clinic because he wanted to spend the day with me. He had it planned beautifully, too. We had breakfast, went shopping, took a cooking class, painted, and ended the night on a boat for dinner, before it all led us to this moment here on the beach, close to midnight.
He was starting to come out of his shell, and so was I. Surprisingly, I actually started to live in the moment with him. Enjoying the time we spent talking or the nice things he did for me wasn’t something I was able to do prior to a couple of days ago. Though we hadn’t kissed since the night at the office. I didn’t want to force the connection; I wanted it to come naturally. So far, I was cool with the pace that we were going.
He broke the silence of the night when he stopped rubbing my feet.
“Kennedy, can we make things official? Right now, we’re dating with no strings attached. I want the strings.” He laughed. I burst into laughter. This man was cute in the corniest way, and I couldn’t get over how funny it was.
"That might be the cheesiest thing I’ve ever said," he admitted, grinning.
“You think?” I struggled to compose myself.
Then I let the moment fizzle as I thought about what he had said. My eyes darted around the darkness. Looking at the seashells next to me and the seaweed that had washed ashore, a sand bucket that someone had left nearby. Then I answered how my heart told me to.
“You know, Taj, I still don’t think it’s the right time. I don’t want to go from one commitment to another. Not so soon. I like what we have, and I like what we’re building, but I don’t want to complicate it with titles and obligations.” I answered as delicately as I knew how.
He didn’t flinch. He just nodded like he already knew what I would say. Then I thought about maybe pulling away from Taj. His feelings were getting involved, and I didn’t want to hurt him by being emotionally unavailable. I felt that at the right time, I could really like him. Not only did I just not have the capacity to, but I was also scared of moving on. Scared of choosing the wrong man, again.
“I want to be honest with you so you can make your own decision to continue talking to me. I don’t want to string you along; I know firsthand that doesn’t feel good.” I took a deep breath and tried to find the words I wanted to say. “I want to be sure that I’m ready for another relationship. Sure, that if I choose to seriously be with you, it’s not because I’m hurt or that safe is the better option.” I admitted. “I want to be all in with anyone that I date, and I can’t say that it’s the right time for that.”
“I can respect that, and I appreciate you being honest. But that doesn’t make me like you any less.” He said, his hands continued to rub my feet.
I took them back and placed them in the sand and grabbed my heels before standing. I reached my hand out to him for him to take. “Come on, this water is making me sleepy, and we’ve had a long day.” I yawned.
He scooped me up and carried me through the sand and over to wash my feet and legs before we walked back to his truck. The ride back to my place was quiet. My eyes scanned the streets as we passed by people and places; the night was quiet and still. When we arrived at the condo I was renting, I could feel the energy shift. Instantly, I sat up and checked the rearview mirrors to see who was lurking in the shadows. There was no visible movement. But I knew this energy anywhere. My hair stood up on the back of my neck as Taj parked his truck next to mine, but I didn’t mention what I felt.
“You want me to help you with your things?” Taj questioned. We had gone into every store in the mall, and he had brought me so much that I had more stuff than I could carry.
“Yes, please,” I said as I jumped out of the vehicle, still looking around. When nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I sighed in relief. Then frowned at the realization that I had become extremely paranoid.
I typed the code into the keypad, pushed the door open, stepped inside, and flicked on the light. When I did, I almost had a heart attack.
There on the couch, in a hoodie zipped up to his chin, his leg kicked up on my coffee table, and a gun resting beside his foot, was Jaxon Jennings in the flesh.
“You having a nightcap?” He growled.
“Jaxon, are you fucking crazy!?” I yelled.
"Close my door," he gritted through his teeth.
I hesitated on the movement; his eyes were locked on mine. A blaze inside of them I had never seen before.
“Close. My. Door.”
I turned and pushed the door closed, shutting Taj and me inside with someone who had a look that I barely even recognized.
He got up, picked up the gun on his table, and slowly walked toward me. Just inches away from my face, he said, “This what we doing, Kennedy? You trying to give this nigga the heart that still belongs to me? Letting him touch you in places that still have my fingerprint?” His voice was still, but his energy wasn’t. There was so much grit in his tone that his voice almost changed.
My breathing hitched. I could see the pain in his eyes. Pain that he had no right to wear.
