Page 108 of Arranged Obsession
“No,I’mthe saint, remember?” I grin at him and he laughs back. I’ve been dreading this conversation ever since I texted him and told him to meet me here, but now it almost feels easy.
That’s the thing with Cormac. I can tell myself he’s a scary beast all I want, but when we’re in a room together?
It’s so easy.
Everything is simple.
Being with him feelsgood.
"What was so urgent you needed me here instantly?”
My heart stutters a bit and I struggle to keep myself calm. “I’ve been thinking about our date the other night.”
“My gift?” His eyebrows raise. “Interested in another?”
I quickly shake my head. “Actually… the opposite.” I clear my throat, awkwardly trying to figure out how I’m going to word this right.
“You can tell me anything, feather,” he says softly, leaning forward. “I mean it. To me, you’re perfect. You truly can’t do wrong in my eyes.”
A little piece of my anxiety slips away. Because that’s true, isn’t it? He’s so deeply obsessed with me that I’m pretty sure I could rip out his eyes and he’d just ask for a pair of dark sunglasses.
“I want you to stop killing Russians.”
His eyebrows raise as he sits back. “Do you now?”
“At least, I want you to stop killing them because of me,” I say quickly, trying to clarify. “I know what you are and I understand what you do. I’m not saying you can’t killat all, although if you could, I’d be happy—” I take a breath to settle myself. “I’m only asking that you stop killing on account of me.”
He doesn’t seem upset. That’s a good thing. I expected him to get angry, like I’m asking him to be weak or something, and there’s not a single soft bone in my husband’s rough body. But he only smiles at me, tilting his head to the side.
“You only get more perfect, you know that?”
My cheeks flush red. “I’m being serious.”
“And I am too. You know, there’s a reason I call you my feather.”
“I’m your lightness,” I whisper.
He gets up and comes around my desk. I stand and let him pull me against him, his strong arms tugging hard against my hips. He’s warm and strong, and my heart’s racing wildly.
“That’s exactly right. I worship you, Bianca, because you try to be better than the world around you. That isn’t easy.”
“Sometimes it’s really, really hard.”
“But you do it anyway. And I love you for that. I’ll love you no matter what.”
“I just can’t have these deaths on my conscience.”
“I know, feather, and I’ll do my best to keep them on mine.” He grazes a thumb down my cheek. “You’re light and I’m dark. I’llkill so you never have to worry about hurting. You’ll do good, and I’ll do bad. Let me carry all that weight.”
I bite back tears. It’s strange how much I want him. This man’s a monster, and he’s basically telling me that he’s going to do terrible things no matter what, so that I don’t have to worry about doing them myself.
And somehow it makes me feel better.
“I love you, Cormac,” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks. I get up on my toes and kiss him lightly. “I know it’s all so messed up, but I love you.”
“I breathe for you,” he says, kissing my tears away. Licking them gently. “I live for you.”
I know it’s true. I also know he won’t ever truly change. He’ll continue killing, even if I ask him not to. That’s just part of him, and I have to accept it.
