Page 45 of The Marquess's Scandalous Game
Her vision blurred, the letter fell from her hand, and the tears flowed freely. The room was quiet. Her tears were silent, but the pain was unbearable. Emma did not know how long she lay there. Eventually, the tears dried up. She must reach out to Leo and assure him she was prepared to rebuild the trust he had in her. Emma got up from the bed and went to her desk, where she kept paper, ink, and a quill. She gazed out through her bedroom window. She knew what she wanted to say.
“Where do I start?” she whispered. She sighed heavily. Emma was prepared to grovel, and indignity be damned.
My dearest Leo,
I received your letter and its contents gave me great pause. It broke my heart. I understand that I behaved in a way that caused you to question my commitment to you. I deserve your ire. I am not worthy of your trust. I gave youmy word, and I did not keep it. I understand your fear, having put myself and the baby at risk. I should never have dismissed your concerns. I am truly sorry, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I long for you to trust me again, but I know it will take time. I am taking the first step by pouring out my heart to you. I am ashamed that I had to be reminded of how much you mean to me. I remember my mother’s words: ‘pride comes before a fall.’ I am putting my pride aside before it ruins me. You and the baby are the most important things in my life, and I choose you. Please come home.
Yours sincerely,
Emma
Emma rang for her maid and asked for her letter to be delivered forthwith. She wondered how Leopold would receive her letter. She hoped that he heard her heartfelt plea. She had great affection for him, and she was very happy with her life at Adlington Hall. She would not give it up. The morning’s events had exhausted her. Her eyelids grew heavy, so Emma closed her eyes, and sleep welcomed her. She dreamed of Leo. He had come to her in bed, and his long, graceful fingers roused her from her sleep. Her skin prickled with anticipation, and she did not see a hint of uncertainty when she gazed into his eyes. Leopold took her into his arms and held her close.
His hair was tousled, and the stubble on his face meant he had not shaved in ages. He appeared a bit gruffy, but he was still her Leo. The intense pleasure of seeing him warmed her heart.
“Leo, I have missed you so. I was miserable without you,” she whispered. Emma was startled awake, and Leo disappeared like an apparition. Her eyes grew wet, and she held back the tears of disappointment. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
It was galling that after three days, Emma had not received a reply to her letter. Leo had not come. If only she had … Emma stopped herself. There was no point in thinking aboutwhat if. She needed to think about how she could salvage this disaster of her own making. She was not about to give up. Emma went to the garden to pick roses. She recalled that Leo had sent her roses when he was courting her. She needed to remind him of how much he wanted her in the beginning and everything that he had done to bring them to this point. She loved and respected her husband and would not cause him further undue emotional stress by putting herself in harm’s way.
She returned to the house and had the staff package the roses. While they prepared them for the journey, Emma wrote a poem in the drawing room. She was never good at poetry, but it was worth trying. She was willing to do anything.
These flowers represent my love
They will last until my love speaks to you
A whisper near your heart
A reminder of the garden where we met
Where are you, my love?
Only I can show you how much I care
The baby and I miss you
As I speak to you from my heart, come home to us
Emma’s eyes were misty as she folded and sealed the paper. She gave the butler instructions for the delivery of the flowers and poem. If Leopold did not come home soon, she would be forced to resort to other measures.
Emma and Leo had great plans for their future. Would it all be for naught?
Hardwick Hall, Staffordshire
Leopold had triedto keep himself busy with business matters and hunting with Easton. He had to be honest with himself. He was trying to use these activities as a distraction. He engaged in them to stop thinking about Emma, and he failed miserably as each day went by. Easton had returned to his estate, and his loneliness was palpable. When Easton was around, all Leopold would do was talk about Emma. He chuckled to himself. He was sure Easton had enough of it. If Leopold could spend so much time thinking about Emma, why could he not go to her?
He was just about to go to the village in Staffordshire when the butler informed him there was a letter from Adlington Hall. Leopold’s breath caught in a hitch. He knew it was not from Cora as he already had her letter yesterday.
Bloody hell. He hoped that nothing else had gone wrong. He took the letter back to the library before he opened it. His heart was pounding when he sat on the sofa. He quickly read Emma’s letter, and there was a fluttering feeling in his belly. He was relieved that she was in good health. She had given her apology some thought, but he was annoyed that it took a separation for her to realize the folly. He read the letter again. She was ashamed of her actions and, rightly, she should be. He supposed she would expect him to run home to her, but he would not. While he was pleased with the letter, he wanted to be certain she understood what she risked and that there never could be a repeat of this entire situation. She behaved insufferably. Now that she realized how much she made a muck of it, she needed to go about cleaning it up. A letter would not suffice.
Leopold was comforted that she was safe at Adlington Hall and had not gone off on another jaunt. Emma did not know, but Cora had been regularly sending him letters. He knew all that was happening at the house. Hearing Cora’s stories of Emma’s stomach being in a riot made him want to comfort her, but he resisted the pull. But for how long? He was a fool to think he could come to Staffordshire to bury himself and get her out of his mind. He failed miserably. He could not have foreseen his torment. It was not until he removed her from his life that he understood how much he truly missed her. He knew how much he wanted her by his side. He had experienced life’s ups and downs and its loops. Things did not always go in the direction that one steered them.
He had turned a corner in his life since he had been at Hardwick Hall. Yes, it was true that he needed to leave his grief and fear behind. He was trapped in his mind, and it restrained him emotionally. It had stopped him from living a fulfilled life. It held him back, but no more. He was no longer a prisoner. He was free to live. He was free to love. Yes, love. He deeply cared for and loved Emma. Being separated from her these last few weeks made him realize they belonged together. He had seen what life would be like without her, and he did not want that.
He understood his fear was crippling any chance of happiness that he could have with Emma. It had been some time since he sensed that he was developing tender feelings towards Emma. He did not want to acknowledge them. But try as he might, he could not ignore the sense of comfort that it brought him. He wanted to weave a new life story, and he wanted to do it with Emma.
Leopold had given way too much importance to the past. Now, it was time for him to look to the future. He left the library to continue his journey to the village on his Staffordshire estate where he knew he would find an excellent carpenter. Ernest hadnoticed his approach and came out of his workshop to greet Leopold.
“Good morning, Ernest.” Leopold dismounted, and one of Ernest’s sons immediately came and took his horse.
