Page 38 of The Marquess's Scandalous Game
“I wish that it was so. The marchioness is with child.”
Easton’s brown shot up. “Good heavens! I must say that is a surprise for you.”
“It is. I did not know until Dr. Benedict told me.” Leopold shuffled his feet.
“I understand you will be worried for the marchioness and for the child. These last few days must have been hellish for you.”
Leopold scrubbed his hand over his face. “You cannot imagine. I have been at her bedside as much as Dr. Benedict would allow. I had some positive news this morning. Dr. Benedict believes the fever will soon break.”
There was a knock on the door and the butler entered.
“There is a message for you, my lord. The caller said it was most urgent.” The butler announced as he handed the note to Leopold.
Urgent message. What the hell was this?
Lord Adlington,
Please attend my library at the hospital.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Benedict
Leopold shot to his feet. “I am sorry, Easton. I must go. I have been summoned to the hospital.” Both gentlemen stood.
“I understand completely, Adlington. I will be at my townhouse and you can send word to me there.”
Leopold did not wait to see Easton out. He left immediately. His heart was already pounding and sweat dampened his forehead.
CHAPTER 16
Leopold could hardly wait for the carriage to come to a full stop before he disembarked. He rushed to Dr. Benedict’s library where he found him waiting behind his desk. Dr. Benedict stood up as Leopold entered. Leopold felt dizzy, and there was a tingling sensation in his arms and legs. This was it. He was expecting the worst because Dr. Benedict called him here urgently not long after he had left. Dr. Benedict walked around the front of the desk and stood in front of Leopold.
“I have good news. After the sponge bath, Lady Adlington awakened for a short time. She asked for water and was able to take some broth. It appears that both her and the baby will be well.”
Leopold took a deep breath and willed his muscles to relax. Relief washed over him. “That is indeed good news, Dr. Benedict. Can I go to her?”
“You may, but she will be asleep. She went back to sleep soon after eating,” Dr. Benedict explained.
“Thank you. I will see her now.” Leopold strode from the room, and though he felt relief, his feet were like jelly. He could not bear to think of the alternative. If Emma and the baby haddied, he could not fathom how he would cope, and it would be all Emma’s fault. Her fault because she willfully disobeyed him. She did not become ill perchance. She put herself and the baby at risk, and he did not know if he could forgive her.
Leopold slowly opened the door to Emma’s room. He did not fully understand the emotions that he was feeling as he walked over to the bed and stared down at Emma. She remained asleep. Emma looked peaceful with her hands by her side. The cooling cloth was no longer on her forehead. Her cheeks were a rosy pink but slightly gaunt. Suddenly, Leopold felt like he was being suffocated by his own thoughts. It’s like screaming but no one can hear you. It feels as though someone had forced his head down into a dark, vast lake. Everything that he tried to shout out was just muffled. All that came out was this pathetic whimper. Leopold felt as though the last bit of air was trying to bubble up and if he did not fight, he would lose the ability to save himself. He tried to struggle, to push that weight from his body but every part of him was weighed down as he frantically tried to claw the weight off from him. He could hear blood rushing through his head and his heart pounded.
Leopold dashed from the room and loosened his cravat. He must leave these confines. He hurried down the hallway, through the main entrance, and into his waiting carriage. He did not signal for the carriage to depart. Instead, he sat with his head resting in his arms which were balanced on his knees. Leopold struggled to contain himself. All he wanted to do was to get away from the crippling grasp of being at the hospital. He wanted to rid himself of the terrifying nightmare. He was struggling to breathe, but there was no one here to help him. He wished that someone … anyone … would free him from this purgatory. Leopold felt despair, but he struggled against the feeling of hopelessness.
He raised his hand and tapped the roof of the carriage which slowly rolled away from the hospital down the cobbled street. He moved the curtain to one side, peered through the window, and watched the hospital fade from view. Why was his mind overcome by this darkness? He did not know. Emma and the baby were on the mend, yet his mind wanted to succumb to this blankness. He wondered if this was acceptance or surrender. Everything inside him went numb. It was as though something inside of him had just snapped. No. Snapped would suggest that he had lost his mind. He knew he had not. Something broke inside of him. Every emotion, every desire, all his dreams and hopes were surrounded by an ominous dark cloud.Everything.
It just felt as though nothing was worth it anymore. Did he dare to make his existence cease within this darkness? When does it end? Will surrendering make it all stop? Leopold felt something cold touch the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. He felt a sense of … emptiness. He had been a fool. He relied far too much on Emma being the source of his happiness. It was a mistake. He could only rely on himself. He thought he was happy, but apparently, these feelings were a figment of his imagination. It was all a part of a twisted fantasy in which he just wanted to feel, to be happy, so badly that it became a part of a memory he created. It was not real. Seeing Emma lying there and knowing he had come so close to losing it all almost shattered him. He was blaming Emma, but he must be cursed.
The darkness hovered. It was like a faint whisper in the back of his mind that was enveloped into everything else. He wanted everything to return to how it was before Emma became ill. He wanted to reach out and crush the darkness in the very same way he wanted someone to reach out for him when he felt like he was suffocating. He realized that he wanted Emma to pull him out of his despair, but she could not. He was so selfish to dependon someone else for that escape. The weight that he had been carrying around had become unbearable. It was too heavy. He thought he could not lift the weight alone, but now he realized that he must.
The carriage pulled up to the Adlington townhouse, and Leopold felt exhausted as he entered the house. He told the butler that he was not to be disturbed. Leopold ascended the stairs to the library and poured a sniffer of brandy. He sat on the sofa, crossed his legs at the ankle and took a swig. The brown liquid burned his throat. He had made his decision. As far as he was concerned, he knew what he needed to do. He would remain at the townhouse for a while longer, but then he would retire to his estate in Staffordshire.
Emma was groggy.She tried to open her eyes, only a small bit, but squeezed them shut. Her vision was fuzzy and black. Emma decided to open her eyes wide, all at once, in an effort to stay awake. Her eyes flickered open, and light finally filtered in. She thought she heard Leo reading to her, yet when she opened her eyes, she did not see him. Was it a dream? She managed to open her eyes for a brief moment, and her gaze turned repeatedly over the strange room. Emma wondered where she was and what she was doing there. She was confused and frightened. This was most certainly not Adlington Hall. She formed no further thought as it was far too exhausting. She fell into a slumber.
Emma awakened, unsure how much time had passed since she found herself in this strange room. She could hear someone moving about in the room, softly humming. She opened her eyes, and this time, she could keep them open for a while longer. She looked at the now familiar face of the portly woman, yether name escaped Emma. She sat bolt upright in bed, and her eyes glanced around the room. It was a strange sensation to find herself somewhere completely unfamiliar. Everything in the room was bathed in white, from the walls to the blanket that covered her legs.
“Good morning, my lady. I am pleased to see that you are awake. I will inform Dr. Benedict,” the woman’s lips raised in a kind smile.
