Page 27 of The Marquess's Scandalous Game
CHAPTER 12
When Leopold walked away, he was livid. A healer.Absolutely ridiculous! He thought he had made himself perfectly clear to Emma. Her role as his marchioness did not include traipsing around the village, healing sick children, and putting herself at risk. No gentleman in polite society would ever allow his wife to perform such tasks. It was completely irresponsible. He knew she would be a challenge, but this was beyond all propriety. He ran his hand through his hair as he strode around the grounds. What a way for him to find out how headstrong she was. She had not apologized nor admitted her actions were foolish.
A stab of fear gripped his heart when he was told the reason for her absence. Leopold’s jumbled thoughts were like needles jabbing at his skin, and all his anxieties came tumbling back. Emma could not have known that he was petrified that she would become ill, and an icy cold calm washed over him at the chilling thought. He was relieved she was well, and he made inquiries to Cook, who said the child had taken some sustenance.
He breathed a heavy sigh. While he was away on business, he could not get her out of his mind. He had done everything within his power to get back to her. He was driven by guilt because he left her on their honeymoon, but he pledged to make it up to her. He recalled when she pleaded with him to make love to her, and it was a wonder that he got anything accomplished on his trip. His mind was filled with images of her nipping and licking his neck as he buried himself in her softness. He wanted to shatter her, again and again, as she flamed his desire. She had glowed in the aftermath of their heated night of passion. He felt such pride when he ran his fingers through her hair. She was mine. The intensity of his emotion moved him so much that it frightened him. The need to touch her was so great that he had taken her that morning. He tried to be gentle, but her urging caused him to lose himself.
He inhaled deeply and slowly released his breath. It was only Emma’s whispers and sighs that had kept him company on the lonely nights.
Damn it to hell!
She had ruined the moment of his return. Something that he yearned for was no longer desirable. How could she be so selfish? He prayed that he was utterly and entirely wrong about her. She could not be selfish because he so desperately wanted things to be good between them. Perhaps this was just a lapse in judgment. His chest tightened. He wanted so much to believe that, but if Emma was going to be difficult, he could not turn away from the truth. He would not go to her tonight. He needed to be alone.
Two days later, Leopold rode around the estate to clear his head. He did not rest well, and he was still annoyed with Emma. He always found riding therapeutic, but not today. It did nothing to relieve the tension that he felt. He abandoned it prematurely and decided to read some of the documents and contracts heneeded to prepare for his meeting with the steward. He went to the library, sat in his chair, and stared off into space for a few minutes. He was keen to formulate a strategy for modernizing Buckden’s estate. He sought to determine his proposals’ long-term profitability before discussing them with Buckden.
The estate had not been mismanaged to the point of negligence, but it was close enough. He would suggest Buckden invest in mechanical equipment and diversify the crops. His own tenants were rearing cattle and pigs, and Leopold believed there was scope to increase production. They could no longer rely solely on crops. Buckden may turn his nose up at Leopold’s diversification plans, but he could not ignore it. Change was coming.
Leopold had learned most of what he knew about farming and running the estate from his father. The stewards were free to share their knowledge with him. He often visited the tenant farmers to discuss their successes and concerns. These people depended on him, and he wanted to do right by them.
He reached for one of the contracts and held it up before he pushed it aside and snatched another. It was no good. He could not concentrate. Yet, he wanted to try. He returned his gaze to his desk and waded through the documents before he placed them in his desk drawer. He sighed with frustration and wondered what he should do.
For the two nights he had not come to her bed, he was miserable. A great sense of weariness swept over him, sucking his energy with it. He wanted to attend to his business, but he found his thoughts were unsettled as he sat by the desk in his library. He did not want to return to the days of weary sadness, not now. Not after he had a glimpse of another life that he could have. It was within his grasp; he reached for it and he would hold onto it.
On their wedding night, he had finally started to feel that things were falling into place. He felt happier than he had in a long time. Life was not quite as bad, unfair, and dark as he thought. Being with Emma was already slowly changing him. Now misery reared its head. He would banish the lonely, sad, and hollow feeling and bring some balance to his mind. Emma did not understand his fear for her well-being, fear of abandonment, and being alone.
By God, he would make her understand.
It had beentwo days since their disagreement and two nights since Leo had not come to her bed. Apparently, he arose quite early in the morning, had breakfast in his bedchamber, and retired late in the evening. Her only comfort was that Cook received word that Ada had regained some of her color and had taken more sustenance. The child remained gravely ill, but the small signs they reported filled Emma with hope. She had asked Otto to procure more medicine from the apothecary and had it delivered to Alice. She wished she could take it to Alice herself to see how Ada fared, but she dared not.
Emma resolved that she had given Leo enough time to overcome his mood. She would seek him out today. There was a knock on the door of her bedchamber.
“Come in.” Leo’s large frame filled the doorway as he entered the room. Well, she thought of him and he appeared.
“Good morning, Emma. I thought of showing you more of the grounds today. It would be good for us to have some time alone.”
Time alone? Really? “The children were expecting me …” Emma started.
“I have made arrangements for the children. They too will be having a tour of the estate with my steward, and they will see the village,” Leo said.
“I see,” Emma replied.
“We, my dear, will be going in the opposite direction,” Leopold said with a chuckle. One would never have known they had such a row or that she had not seen him for two days.
Emma smiled. “I would like that, Leo.”
Leo appeared relieved. “Excellent. Dress for riding, and I will see you in the courtyard.”
Emma was pleased that Leo recognized they needed time alone. She wondered what he would say about his behavior before she brushed the thought aside. She was being silly. She did not need to ponder for much longer, for he was waiting for her, and she supposed she would hear firsthand. She rang for her lady’s maid, who dressed her in the riding habit she selected, and she met Leo in the courtyard. It was a cool morning, and she enjoyed the fresh, cool air as they rode from the estate across the woodlands.
They came across a pond with leaves and water lilies floating on the surface of the water. There was moss on the rocks at the edge of it. They dismounted and made themselves comfortable on the grass.
“Emma, as you know, my family was lost to the dreaded cholera, an impossibly bleak situation. There is so much that we do not know about the disease. I suppose we should be grateful that people are not now dying from it, yet we cannot be complacent. The disease could yet resurface,” Leo patiently explained.
Emma turned to face him. “This would have been very difficult for you, Leo.”
Leo sighed. “It was indeed. I understand my family died within hours of contracting the illness. Sometimes, at night, Ifind myself thinking about their suffering and loss of dignity. Eugene was your age, while Estelle was fourteen. They were so young to have their lives robbed from them. For a long time, I was quite angry about it.”
She wanted … no, sheneededhim to share with her. “Oh, Leo. Tell me.”
