Page 22 of The Earl's Reluctant Bride
Elizabeth only felt worse because of his kindness and her tears flowed freely. She did not hold on to them but rather set them free. She could feel her pillow was growing wet. She did not wish to speak so she uttered not a word. She felt him withdraw from the bed and heard the rustle of his garments as he donned his banyan. Without uttering another word or as much as a glance in her direction Alexander walked to the adjoining door and left the room.
Elizabeth curled herself in a ball as her body was wracked with sobs. She found that the more she wept, the more she wanted to weep. It was a dastardly situation that she found herself in and she was beside herself, filled with doubt and pity.
Dear Lord …. Alexander had been nothing but kind to her, but she did not love him and she wondered if she ever could. She was so unhappy but what was she to do?
CHAPTER10
Elizabeth awoke the next morning feeling as though elves had danced in her head. She could not remember the last time she had such a throbbing headache. She felt quite fatigued, which may be a combination of performing her wifely duties and the much too generous helping of burgundy she had at dinner. Barlow often complained of these dastardly headaches after a night of drinking, but she had never experienced one before. Well, with regard to her wifely duties, she decided not to dwell on it for the moment.
There was a knock on her door before her lady’s maid entered. She had arranged for hot water to be brought up for Elizabeth to wash. Once Elizabeth was dressed, she ventured down the stairs to the dining room. She did not expect to find Alexander there because of the late hour, but she enquired after him, nonetheless.
“My lord departed at dawn, countess,” the butler replied.
Elizabeth lowered her lashes to hide her surprise.He departed at dawn? “Did he say when he would return?”
“I am afraid he did not say, countess, but I suspect it will not be this night. He had his valise with him.”
Elizabeth was somewhat relieved but slightly apprehensive.Why did he not tell her that he was going to be away? It bothered her. Was she to blame? She broke her fast and pondered. Could it be that he was perturbed about their coupling last night? Did he wonder what affliction had left her speechless and in tears? Perhaps she upset him with her tears or she had not lived up to his lovemaking expectations. She would not worry for there was naught that she could do about it now. She must hold on to her thoughts and await his return.
Elizabeth was famished so she tucked into her meal, and she did not expend much effort to push the disquieting thoughts to the back of her mind. Once sated she decided to keep herself occupied by exploring the manor. She informed the butler of this.
Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. “I would be pleased to take you on a tour my lady.”
Elizabeth replied gently for she did not wish to offend him, “That is quite all right. I prefer to explore on my own.”
“As you wish.” He bowed slightly and exited the dining room.
Elizabeth perked up and put Alexander out of her thoughts. The manor had an appeal. She wanted to explore it alone, in her own time. Since Elizabeth was already in the dining room, on the lower floor, she started exploring there. She walked from room to room, tilting her head from side to side, raising her eyebrows appreciatively, and paused to examine particular points of interest.
Elizabeth’s eyes feasted upon the manor and she was pleased with what she saw. She must admit it was rather grand, more so than her own home at Brampton. The manor was of a Gothic design. It was huge with double-hung sash windows and a great deal of glass. She admired its features of large doors, high ceilings, enfilades, ballrooms, drawing rooms, parlors, and music rooms. There was a fireplace in every bedchamber and elaborate kitchens to produce impressive feasts.
She observed some Gothic features had already been improved and she tried to discern what aspect of the renovation was Alexander’s doing. She bit her lower lip as she mused. She was afraid she did not know him well enough to understand his style. Regardless of the changes that had been made, the manor retained its wonderful medieval great hall complete with minstrels' gallery. A soft gasped escaped Elizabeth for she was taken aback by the attention to detail. She walked through the entrance porch admiring the armor suits which were a remnant of the days of bloody war. She reached her hand, the bronze cold to her touch. She wondered who had worn it and the horrors they beheld so that she could live in a more peaceful England. It is unlikely that she would ever know. As she moved away from the armor, she realized Alexander was quite modest when he mentioned the great hall at dinner. He did not say it was so magnificent.
She walked to the parlor rooms, which were adjacent to the great hall, and they were filled with beautiful ornaments. There hung paintings, etchings, delicate lanterns and an extraordinary collection of altarpieces and carved canopies. She studied the paintings and she found she was longing to feel charcoal in her hands floating across a sheet of paper. Alas, she did not possess any of her usual supplies and she needed to remedy this.
Elizabeth pulled herself away from the paintings to see the enfilade. It had several rooms, which stretched from one end of the manor house to the other. Like the reception rooms, the walls of the enfilade were covered with pictures, sketches, portraits, and paintings. It was clear to Elizabeth that Alexander appreciated the arts. She was pleased to discover they had a common interest since she was such an art lover herself. Through her exploration thus far she had discovered a bit about him. Perhaps she would learn more.
Elizabeth wandered around the manor admiring aspects that pleased her and contemplating what changes she would make. She came to the library and her thoughts again shifted to Alexander for she knew he would spend much time here. She detected a woody scent, she paused and sniffed, also candle wax, old volumes, and ink. She felt perfectly at home here. The library was befitting Alexander, she thought as she perused several of the volumes. There was no doubt that the manor had been completed to a high quality indeed, and a considerable amount of time had been spent on its maintenance.
Elizabeth was parched. All the wondering about the manor had taken the entire morning and it was time for lunch. Elizabeth returned to the dining room where she ate alone. She proceeded to her bedchamber where she spent the afternoon reading a book she had taken from the library. By the time she had dinner later that evening a profound sense of loneliness gripped her. This would not do. It was likely that Alexander went to visit with her parents for it was the only conclusion which made sense. She was miffed that he went off alone without telling her. Apparently, he was annoyed. He had no right to be, as he knew that she loved another, yet he wanted to marry her.
Well, she would not sit here in solitude, feeling lonely and sorry for herself. Before the season begins, she would invite Amelia and Eleanor to the manor to visit with her. She wished to tell them the news of how she found herself in this most unusual predicament. Perhaps there were already rumors being bandied about, but she did not know for certain. They had been isolated on the return from Gretna Green as Alexander exercised the utmost discretion. Once he had spoken to her parents and an announcement was made there would be no need for such concerns.
Elizabeth was pleased to find a sitting room adjoining her bedchamber. It provided her with a private space to write, read, pray, or repose. There was a desk, containing all the writing apparatus she required, and a comfortable chair. She sat at the desk and considered what she would say to her dear friends. It was then that Elizabeth realized how much she truly missed Amelia and Eleanor. It was all such a mess and she pondered if one day she would ever be happy again.
She sat at her desk and bit her lip while she played with the feather of her quill. She pulled a sheet of paper closer, which was cream and of good quality. She dipped her quill in the inkwell and composed a letter.
Dearest Amelia,
I have missed you so. There is much that I need to share with you, but I cannot commit it to paper. Suffice it to say that I am now the Countess of Thornton, and I would be pleased if you would join me at Thornton Manor. I look forward to welcoming my dearest friend and confidant.
Ever your affectionate friend,
Lizzy
Elizabeth wrote a similar letter to Eleanor before she held a stick of sealing wax over the flame of a candle, and over the joined ends of the letter. When the red melted blob had dropped onto the letter, she pressed a seal onto it. The seal was that of the Thorntons and it felt surreal to be using it. Everything had happened so fast. She summoned the butler and asked that her letters be posted. Her letters would be with her friends within two days. There was not much else she could do now, rather than wait.
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