Page 25 of Duke in Shining Armor
James thought of his predicament and the honorable course of action. He had resolved not to take her, for he needed more time to get to know her. He wanted to be sure if she was the one. He was inclined to think there was a strong possibility, so that was a good enough reason for him to spend some time to find out. But his passion overcame his good sense. He had done exactly what he said he would not do. He ravished her, and consequently he must make her his wife.
As a testament to how much he did not know her, he was not certain that she would have him. He had his doubts. Catherine was determined to complete the voyage to Switzerland and to attend finishing school. Whatever her plans afterward, they still remained a mystery to him. Catherine was a very unconventional woman, and he recalled her passionate declaration that not all young ladies wanted to marry.
She had not given him a reason to think that there was any hope for him. James suspected the whole point of going to Switzerland was to prepare herself for society and make a suitable match. If she had thought him suitable, it stands to reason that she would not be so keen to proceed with that plan. Unless there was something in her background and connections that did not push her thoughts along that path. James frowned.
However, would she have given herself to him if she thought him wholly unsuitable, would she? James fidgeted on his seat and cast Catherine a probing glance. She was not looking at him; it seemed she was making a concentrated effort not to glance in his direction, and her face was stoic.
How I wished I knew more of you.
He concluded that while he is growing fond of her … she may not feel the same.
How could he possibly broach the subject of marriage to her when there was a strong possibility that she would reject him? Furthermore, the final decision on her marriage may not rest with her, and there was no doubt he would need to speak with her father. Would she now reveal his full name? Would she even provide it? He had agreed she could remain at the estate until she recovered, so he respected her privacy, and he had not sought to discover who her parents were. Now James felt that was a mistake.
He wondered if she felt anything for him, and what she would say if he declared where his thoughts wandered. James would not be surprised if she swore. He chuckled to himself before he stilled. Catherine was bold and she had a wild nature. What if she truly only wanted nothing more than to abandon herself to nights of passion while satisfying her desires?
What then?Everything within him was telling him that he could not offer for her at this time. He had no choice but to wait.
He presumed Catherine was buried in her own thoughts, just as he was, contemplating the next course of action. They travelled in silence, and as they approached the estate, he wondered what conclusions, if any, Catherine had come to.
James cast another discreet glance. “Catherine, I—” He began but she interrupted him.
“James, not now. Please,” she pleaded.
He said no more.
As they pulled onto the pathway to his home, he glanced over at her. She seemed deep in thought. It occurred to him that she possibly just needed time to process what had transpired. He was to visit his smaller estate tomorrow, and that would see him away for about three days. In that time, she could absorb what happened, and he could then broach the topic of marriage.
He stopped the carriage and exited and walked around to her side to assist her down. She blushed as their hands touched.
“Catherine, I am to be away tomorrow for three days; please avail yourself of all the amenities of the estate in my absence.”
Without looking up at him, she responded, “Thank you, James, I will make myself at home while you are gone.”
He reached for her walking cane and handed it to her. “I believe I will miss your company for these three days.”
She looked up and her gaze held an unfathomable glow. “I will miss yours as well.”
They ambled inside, her steps looking much stronger, showing the advanced progress of her healing.
“Upon my return I will trounce you at checkers.”
She smiled. “I believe you will imagine that happening for the next three days, only to be defeated when you return.”
He chuffed out a laugh, thankful the tension eased from her shoulders. They entered the foyer, and she bid him good evening and headed toward the stairs to her chamber. Later that evening, she had supper in her bedchamber, opting not to dine with him.
James left the dining room and was halfway up the stairs before he faltered. Catherine clearly wanted more time alone to think, so he did not attempt to join her. She would have three days while he travelled, and when he returned, whether she was up to it or not, he would sit her down for a conversation.
* * *
A few days later,Catherine was still reliving the memory of James’s touch and their wanton embrace. She had not known the art of lovemaking could be so exhilarating for she felt lighthearted and giddy. At one point she was worried James did not wish to be with her, and that he found comfort in the arms of another, but this was not so. There was much passion in his embrace, and she felt his longing when he held her.
She thoroughly enjoyed spending time with James, and when he did not come to see her, she missed him so. The days were not the same when she did not feel his presence. Catherine wondered how he fared at his smaller estate and what business he conducted. Perhaps he would inform her over the promised game of checkers. The duke was more indulgent than a typical gentleman was expected to be. He did not complain when she cursed, he engaged in debates about politics, and allowed her to express her thoughts freely. She understood this was a novelty, and ladies did not usually find this in marriage.
She was starting to discover that matters of the heart are somewhat complicated. Her parents wanted her to go to Switzerland, attend finishing school, find a suitable match, and to take her rightful place in society. She understood how important it was for her to fulfill this task, particularly as her family’s wealth had been depleted, and there was much at stake. Her heart ached at the thought of being passed off to the highest bidder.
Especially given her emerging feelings for the duke.
Catherine could not help but wonder if now that they made love, the duke would offer for her. It was within the realms of convention since he deflowered her, unless he only wished to have an affair. An ache pierced her heart, and Catherine pushed the thought of having an affair from her mind. She would not think of it as she would focus on a more positive ending.
