Page 68 of The Viscount's Unwanted Bride
“So….”
Theo raised an eyebrow, his stomach roiling as he wondered what she might be about to say. Surely nothing good. “So?”
She nibbled on her lower lip and avoided his gaze, a hint of color on her cheeks. “I have to ask… with everything that happened between you and Elizabeth, I can see how you’d be reluctant to repeat history. But does that mean that you don’t wish to have children?”
The scone sat heavy in his gut. He’d hoped to avoid this question for a while yet, but she deserved an answer even if it wasn’t one he wanted to give.
“The truth is,” he started, squirming in his seat, “that I would like children.”
She brightened.
“But,” he continued reluctantly, “I can’t watch another woman I care about go through the same thing Elizabeth did. It’s too painful.”
She tipped her head, her lips pursed thoughtfully. “Many women become pregnant and give birth without issue.”
He nodded. “But many also die in childbirth or from complications.”
“That’s true.” She picked up her teacup and lifted it to her lips. She sipped, pulled a face, and set it back down. “Too hot.”
Her lack of a reaction bothered him. He wanted to grab her and demand to know her thoughts on the matter, but she was clearly working through them in her mind, so he summoned every ounce of patience and waited.
Finally, she placed the teacup back on the table and said, “I’ve always wanted children.”
That was hardly surprising. In his experience, most women did.
She tilted her chin up and met his gaze. “I’m willing to take the risk that I will fail to conceive or that something might happen to me in childbirth. I think you ought to take that into consideration. I can’t make you consummate the marriage—for one thing, that wouldn’t be fair, and for another, I don’t know what it entails—but I’d ask you to factor in my ability to make my own decisions.”
The back of his throat ached, and he swallowed with a wince. His shoulders climbed up around his ears, and he pointedly avoided eye contact.
She had a good point. It was unfair of him to make decisions about their future without taking her desires into account, but surely there ought to be some leeway if it was for her own good.
“I can’t stand the thought of seeing you wither away,” he said softly.
To his surprise, she moved closer, pressing herself against his side. He met her eyes, and she cupped his face and feathered a kiss over his cheek.
“I’d appreciate it if you’d at least reconsider your stance. I’m strong enough to know my own mind.” Her eyes filled with emotion as she smoothed her palm over his jaw. “I won’t push though. Not now.”
He bit his lip, hating that he stood between her and something she wanted. Surely there was something he could offer her now, even if it wasn’t children.
“There are ways we can share intimacy that don’t carry the same risks,” he blurted.
She dropped her hands, and he mourned the loss of her touch. “You’re upset. You shouldn’t be making any decisions. I’d hate for you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with or that you’ll later regret.”
“I won’t.” Desperation clawed at his insides. Now that he’d mentioned it, his sense of urgency wouldn’t abate. It was important that Kate realize he did care for her. Perhaps he hadn’t chosen this marriage, but he had feelings where she was involved. A certain fondness for her. “I want to show you.”
Her eyes widened and she paused. “Er, are you sure? Because the past hour has been overwhelming. We shouldn’t rush into anything.”
“I’m absolutely certain.”
Or, at least, he knew he’d regret not giving Kate something. He couldn’t provide everything she dreamed of, but he wouldn’t leave her totally unsatisfied with her lot in life.
He cupped her face. “Would you like a kiss?”
“Yes, please.”
He brushed his lips over hers, softly at first, but more firmly with every second that passed. She sighed and leaned into him, her breath gusting over his skin. He drew back, then kissed her again. This time, she hesitantly responded, her lips moving against his.
He dipped his tongue between them, and she stiffened before parting them to allow him access. The tip of her tongue touched his in a silken caress that sent heat curling through him. She tasted faintly of jam, along with something unique that was only Kate.
