Page 98 of The Duke's Inconvenient Bride
He was asleep.
She hesitated, uncertain of what to do. Experience had taught her that he didn’t like to sleep with her, but he wouldn’t have held her close if he intended to leave, would he?
She studied his sleeping face, which so much more relaxed than when he was conscious. That was hardly surprising, though. The man carried a lot of worry on his shoulders. He was responsible for many others, including her. When did he get a reprieve?
Affection swelled in her chest as she kissed him lightly. He didn’t stir. She bit her lip. She wouldn’t normally have minded the rush of bliss that came with such tender feelings toward another person normally, but if she allowed herself to indulge in them this time, they would only cause her to get more attached to Vaughan.
A man who’d already said he wouldn’t love her.
Not couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Because he actively chose not to.
That hurt—even though she understood his reasoning. She just wished he could see that she wasn’t like his mother. She wouldn’t use love to control him. She’d use it to build him up.
Her mind whirred, hundreds of thoughts buzzing through it. If only she could shut them off and enjoy the moment, but instead she was confronted by possibilities.
What if she could persuade him to give love a chance?
What if she earned the love of this wonderful man?
But what if she fell in love with him, and he didn’t feel the same?
What if he broke her heart?
She closed her eyes. She had a decision to make. She could continue to pursue a romantic connection with Vaughan and hope that eventually he’d see that it didn’t have to turn out like his parents’ marriage, or she could give up on that and do what she could to protect her already dented heart.
She wasn’t inclined to admit defeat. Especially not when she cared for him and believed he returned the sentiment. But if she continued her campaign to win his affection, she’d likely only cause herself pain.
Vaughan’s conviction hadn’t wavered during their time together. She had no reason to believe it would do so in the future.
It was fanciful of her to hope it would.
His heartbeat slowed as he slept. Its regular thud and the warmth of his chest beneath her cheek made her want to throw caution to the wind and pray for a good outcome.
But perhaps she should embrace the distance he was doing his best to put between them. At least until she figured out how to shield herself from hurt. There might be a way she could woo him, but she was too raw at the moment, and another rejection would challenge her ability to recover.
She opened her eyes, blinking as they readjusted to the dim light cast by the candles. She eased away from Vaughan. As he murmured and rolled onto his side, she slipped from the bed. Her mind was too busy to sleep. She’d have to get a book from the library to distract herself.
She dressed in her nightgown and wrapper, and lit a candle, then she padded out of the room on bare feet, using the candle to light her path.
“Emma,” a soft voice said.
She glanced up, her hand flying to her chest. Violet stood in the hall outside the bedchamber they were using. She carried a candle in its holder that lit the underside of her face, making her appear ghoulish.
“You startled me,” Emma said.
“I’m sorry.” Violet studied her and then smiled. “I’m glad you look better.”
Emma winced internally. She ought not to have lied about being ill in order to get out of seeing people. She should have known that Violet and Vaughan would not be having a rendezvous behind her back. Her sister may be selfish, but she wasn’t intentionally cruel.
Violet smirked. “Perhaps it is because you have been well loved.”
Emma gaped at her. “Excuse me?”
Even if it were true, she’d never have expected Violet to say as much.
“Do not sound so shocked, sister dearest,” Violet said. “You are up and about late at night, your cheeks are flushed, your eyes are sparkling, and it’s become quite clear that the duke adores you, so what else am I to think?”
Emma scoffed, keeping her voice low so as not to wake either of their husbands. “The duke does not adore me. Perhaps he is attracted to me, but that is all.”
