Page 97 of Seducing Jenny
Mal looked from me to her. “It’s not that simple,” he advised, more calmly than I felt. “Clan life isn’t like what you’re used to on Earth.”
“It’s his family, Mal,” Jenny said, and I didn’t miss the sudden bout of panic in her eyes at the thought of losing me. “He just needs to tell them he’s not going back.”
I momentarily closed my eyes, wondering how to explain it to her. “Clan is different than family, Jenny. A clan isn’t only your blood relatives. You’re in business with them. For your whole life, you pay a tithe to them—”
“A tithe?” she interrupted, her tone shocked. “Like church?”
I nodded. “Very much. They run the spiritual side of your family, too. They are in charge of ensuring our ghosts take their proper course, they educate the children, they provide for everyone, they are our doctors—”
“That sounds like a cult.”
I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know.”
“Well, your cult can’t have you back.” Then, more quietly, she added, “Unless you want to go back…”
“No,” I said firmly, and they both released a deep breath, like they were relieved to hear it. “I don’t want to go back, but I owe them and…it is my duty as an Orne. I’m one of the few young, presumably fertile men in the clan who can keep the bloodline going.” I swallowed, trying to not throw up. “And they found me a consort.”
Jenny gasped, and Mal’s entire frame went taut. His jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth might crack.
“And do you want to unite with her?” Mal asked, voice graveled with restraint.
“No,” I snapped, annoyed at the implication.
“So they just expect you to return at their command and marry some stranger?” she asked incredulously.
“Unite,” I corrected her. “And yes. That’s how it’s always been. Since clans fell out of fashion, those of us who remain are expected to treat every chance at expansion like a scared duty. When the clan calls you home, you go. It’s your duty and responsibility to procreate.”
Jenny shook her head, her eyes full of dismay. “I don’t understand any of this.”
Mal’s lips stretched into a grim line. “I know how it works, and I still don’t understand it. Tiger, you said you don’t want to go, so why are you so upset? If you don’t want to go, then don’t.”
“It’s not that easy, Mal. You know it’s not,” I said, my anger getting the best of me. At the situation, and their lack of understanding. “This isn’t about me. This is about the Orne clan. I’m one of the few who can carry them forward. They raised me, fed me, protected me. I owe them. Especially now…now that Kapok is dead.” I flopped onto my back and stared at the ceiling, guilt consuming me. “I didn’t tell them about his death, because I was only thinking of myself. I should have gone home after he died. I should have told them myself, but I didn’t.”
Jenny sat down beside me on the bed and placed a gentle hand on my thigh. “Because you wanted to keep working for Jac.”
I nodded, keeping my gaze averted. “I wanted my freedom, and knowing that they’d call me back if they knew of Kapok’s death, I didn’t tell them. I’m not sure how they found out. Otolith believes I had a good reason for not telling them, which I do not. Or he wants me to make one up by the time I return.”I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes, the shame now eating me up inside. “I should have told them.”
Jenny sighed. “Yes, you should have told them,” she agreed. “But I completely understand why you didn’t. You were afraid they’d take away your freedom and stifle you. And it sounds like that’s exactly what they’re planning to do now.”
I nodded miserably. “Yeah.”
Mal sat down on the other side of me on the bed, his voice quiet when he asked, “What doyouwant to do?”
I looked up at them both from my prone position on the bed. “I don’t know what to do. Clan life…I’ve seen too much of the worlds to go back to that regimented life. Even if I hadn’t found you two, I wouldn’t want to go back. I don’t miss waking up before the suns rise and tending the gardens. Or not wearing shoes and sleeping on uncomfortable cots. Or waiting all day for your one meal because that’s all any of them get andhunger is purifying—”
“What?” Jenny asked flatly.
“It’s considered to be an insult to the gods for you to eat more than once a day. Like you don’t trust them to feed you again. Hedging your bets, so to speak.”
She gaped at me. “The fuck?”
“Clan life means living according to all of the precepts of the orthodox faith. Prayers eight times a day, ritual fasting, and the occasional hut burned down because someone’s homemade incense was too flammable.” I groaned at the thought. “I cannot go back to that life.” But if I didn’t, I risked being shunned by my family and the entire clan.
“Absolutely not,” she said firmly. “What do we do?”
“That’s a question only he can answer,” Mal told her, before he looked at me. “I won’t tell you what to do when it comes to your clan, Tiger. I don’t…my ideas about family are differentthan most, so I am not a good judge when it comes to these things."
"That is exactly why I want your thoughts, Mal,” I refuted, feeling frustrated. “You come at this from a very different angle than I do, and—”
