Page 76 of Absolute Certainty
Her eyes flicked back up to Jay’s as they stood, waiting. He held her gaze, warm and right.
More goosebumps. More butterflies. More uncertainties.
God, she couldn’t do this again.
She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She couldn’t.
He didn’t run when he saw you throw the crisps at Miles,a reasonable part of her mind said.He watched you and Ethan bicker, and he didn’t tell you to calm down,it added.
Another louder voice countered.Yeah, but you aren’t with him. It’d be different if you were his girlfriend. It’d be different when he feels embarrassed to be seen with you.
Sahar could feel herself shrinking again. She looked away. She grew quiet.
The mosquito bite on her arm reminded her of its presence, so she picked at it, scratching gently. Willa had asked Jay a question about the syrup Amanda’s Coffee used for her Irish cream latte preference, and it kick-started a whole topic on ingredients.
Sahar was grateful she could keep to herself for a beat.
A moment to collect herself.
A moment to still the butterflies.
A moment to contain every small flame trying to spread inside of her.
19
JAY
“Dad?” Eloise said, drawing his attention from the air-fried broccoli he’d been picking at on his plate.
Jay set his fork down and looked up at her, trying not to let the slight concern in her small voice make him nervous. “Yeah, baby.”
“Would you ever live in Philadelphia with us?”
Jesus.
Of all the questions, he wasn’t expecting that one.
A heavy lump grated in his throat. “I’m not sure, sweetheart. Maybe.”
Eloise’s face fell, the sorrow in her eyes breaking him. “The summer is almost over, and I’m just going to miss you a lot.”
Jay closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath. “We still have a little over a month, baby. But how about I promise to come visit more?”
“But what if your job doesn’t let you?”
“I’ll make sure it does,” he reassured. “You’re always going to be my priority, Ellie, you know that, right? Your mom and I would move mountains for you.”
A faint smile crept up her lips. “You can’t move mountains. It’s impossible,” she mumbled.
“It’s a metaphor, you little nerd. It means there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you.”
Eloise twirled the spaghetti she’d requested for dinner with her fork. “How come you don’t have a Gavin?”
Jay choked on a swallow. “A what now?” He knew exactly what she was asking, but Christ, why was she suddenly so inquisitive, and how on earth was he supposed to answer that?
“You know, like Gavin is for Mommy. Someone to marry.”
“Maybe I don’t want to get married,” he said.
