Page 95 of Absolute Certainty
Dahlia’s trying to get Adriana (the lady who bakes them every morning) to sell them to us year-round.
SAHAR
Dahlia would be my hero. Is it working? They’re bloody divine. I want to try the regular if she’s the one baking them, but I fear the strawberry might’ve ruined me. And I’m not that big on sweets usually.
JAY
No, she keeps saying they’re special while they’re seasonal. But Dahlia’s persistent.
SAHAR
She does have a point there.
JAY
I suppose. Do you think they cure colds?
SAHAR
I have a feeling they might.
JAY
I’ll have to check with Ellie to confirm. Thanks again for checking in.
SAHAR
Anytime ??
25
SAHAR
Adull ache in her ankle woke up Sahar ahead of her alarm. She’d felt an odd discomfort yesterday, chalking it up to the usual overexertion instead of something serious. But now, it was a bit more pronounced.
Yet, more apparent than the irritation in her ankle was the anxiety ballooning inside of her. Sahar wasn’t one to pride herself on many things, but she’d appreciated the strength she typically had to combat her fears. She was good at bouncing back. She excelled at compartmentalizing and rationalizing.
But with each passing day, it was growing harder and harder.
It was especially challenging given how she was diligently trying to fit into some mold that’d maybe be more palatable to others, even while it meant shutting parts of herself off. It was particularly frustrating to continue upholding these walls because shelikedJay. She liked him a lot more than she thought she would, and all she wanted to do was jump right in.
Forget slow. Forget figuring things out. Forget what it meant to be afraid of love and welcome the possibility of heartbreak as part of the whole ordeal.
Butugh,she couldn’t do that with Jay. After checking on him and Eloise, she’d started to feellike she was bothering him. It was the polite thing to do—she knew as much—yet her mind insisted that it wasn’t her place.
Sahar groaned in frustration and looked at her phone. Six in the bloody morning. She sighed, sinking deeper into her bed as she thought of how his mouth felt roaming over her skin. How needy his hands were.
Grumbling, Sahar kicked off her apricot-colored comforter and got out of bed. She brushed her teeth and took care of her morning skincare before walking out into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she stared into it. Willa spent the night at Ethan’s, so Sahar would be going to work with Christian.
Christian would be a safe buffer. Christian also wasn’t aware of everything that had happened. And if he was, he was blessedly staying quiet.
She shouldn’t have agreed to allow Jay to hold the strawberry Rice Krispies bar for her. She should’ve just let it be. Brushed it off.Overthinking doesn’t become you, Sahar. Enough.
She picked out a white peach from the fridge, washed it, and took a big bite. Tea, later. She’d keep busy today, meal prep for lunch and dinner—hold off on a workout because her ankle was being strange—and then go into work.
When Christian texted her that he’d be in front of their flat in five minutes, she got ready to leave the house.
Their too-tight subway ride to the theatre was quiet, and when they got to the coffee shop, everything was suddenly too loud. She spotted Jay making drinks, and he appeared to be so stressed and pissed off that she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be here.
