Page 85 of Absolute Certainty
Fighting back a smile, she attempted to calm the emotions threatening to escape from the cage she was desperate to keep them barred in. She wanted to ask his mother a thousand questions—get to knowhimmore. Their whole family.
Elena bit into a croquette, eyes fixed on her son. “Have you heard from Ellie?”
“No. She forgets I exist when there are other kids around. I texted Hayden, though. He says she’s doing great and sent a photo.”
“You’re so dramatic. She doesn’t forget you. And show us!” Alex declared.
It registered to Sahar at that moment that she had no idea what Jay’s daughter looked like. Opening his phone to the photograph, he slid it across the table between Alex and Sahar.
“Her smile kills me,” Alex announced, voice slightly pitched.
Of the two little girls, Sahar could safely guess which one was Eloise, but she didn’t want to assume. “Is she the brunette?”
Jay nodded.
Alex brought her thumb and index finger to the screen, zooming in. “I die for her. Isn’t she the cutest?”
“Aww, she really is.” Gazing up at him, she added, “She has your eyes, Jay.”
He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Hopefully not my eyesight.”
Sahar’s smile morphed into a sympathetic pout.
“Do you have plans after this?” his mother asked him.
He shook his head. “No, I’m heading home. Why?”
“If you’ll be home then, I might pop into Astoria to see Donna.”
Jay nodded, his knee still brushing against Sahar’s underneath the table. “You should. I’ll pick up Ellie when they’re back.”
“And I must go back to a job I hate,” Alex started, paused, then said, “Sorry, I know I should be grateful in this economy, but I’m miserable.”
A low sigh fled from Jay, accompanied by an empathetic glance from their mother.
Sahar pivoted her gaze to the girl beside her, resting her elbow against the table. “You’re allowed to complain if it’s sucking the life out of you. We can’t always win in this industry.”
“Yeah,” was all Alex managed to say.
A comfortable silence lapsed between them as yet another spark of gratitude flickered in Sahar.
She loved her job.
She loved her friends.
And for a heartbeat, she allowed herself to wonder what it’d be like if present company also remained a part of her life.
22
SAHAR
They’d agreed to meet in front of the Hyacinth, from where they’d go down to Stonewall Theatre together. She’d been texting him from the subway station, but when Sahar turned the corner on 45th Street and spotted Jay, her heart did a little trot.
Since theCluenight last Sunday and the lunch with his mom and sister on Thursday, she’d spent every day trying to veer away from any and all wishful thoughts that wedged themselves into the forefront of her mind.
His smile, his voice—the way his eyes held hers. Every text conversation they had afterward. His mouth, his body—the way his knee would brush against hers underneath tables.
Stop fighting it. Give in.
