Page 55 of Absolute Certainty
JAY
If that was gentle, I’d hate to see what the opposite looks like.
SAHAR
Very funny. That’s the thanks I get.
JAY
I am forever indebted to you.
SAHAR
See, much better.
JAY
Speaking of, I’m making some very minor tweaks to episode seven while El’s asleep. I might send it over to you after work tomorrow.
SAHAR
Yes, excellent!
More words to look forward to, tiny pieces of Jay’s mind sprinkled onto paper for her to read. How had his story become so special to her? What was it about his writing that made her feel so seen?
She was nothing like Henry or Katherine. Frankly, she was a lot like the one secretary at the agency—Robin. Loud, happy, and hopelessly optimistic.
Except, rather these days…
Maybe she was like Henry—broken but determined. Maybe she was more similar to Katherine—angry and guarded.
Or, maybe, despite all her efforts to swear off men and relationships for a while, she could no longer deny how captivated she was by the one whose words awakened some indescribable form of comfort in her soul.
Sahar tossed her phone on the sofa. This shouldn’t be happening. She couldn’t be trusted with her feelings. Her feelings would push Jay away. Even if Willa was right and there was a part of him interested in her, she was certain that it didn’t go beyond the physical.
He’d get to know her more, and she’d be too much for him, too.
She needed to work on that part of her before she could let someone in again. Standing up, she went to the kitchen sink, washed her hands, and averted her attention back to the pizza. And Willa. Willa, who was holding a slice, and grinning like a mad woman. It could be because of the pepperoni—her third favorite thing after Ethan and pickles—or it could be because she knew that Sahar was losing it.
It wastwo in the morning, and she couldn’t sleep. Again. So while Sahar was initially saving the sixth episode to reread at some point tomorrow, she decided she might as well do it now.
Sahar wanted to wait to text Jay in the morning, but fuck it, like most people, he probably had his phone on silent. It wasn’t like she’d wake him up with a single text. She’d do it now.
SAHAR
I just finished rereading ep 6. Henry’s slow descent is actually my undoing. And good grief! I loved those bits of Katherine remembering her mom’s words and how they’re driving her survival. Like I know that the Logan brothers need her, so they aren’t going to harm her, but because we’re past the halfway mark now, it’s natural to feel concerned since it’d be understandable to see her almost give up. I love love love the fact that she’s pushing through.
She exited her messages app and browsed through social media. Scrolling mindlessly through her phone, her mind trailed back to Jay.
Sahar wondered what kind of a partner he’d be to someone.
How kind he was.
She thought of his hands—how massive they were—what his fingers could do…
Martin berated her every time she wore high heels because she’d pass his 5’10 frame, but Jay must’ve been at least 6’2 or 6’3. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she wanted to know what his body would feel like pressed up against hers for longer than a few mere seconds. How his lips and tongue could move, and how his beard could burn…Nope.
When his name appeared in a banner on top of her phone screen, Sahar’s heart palpitated inside her chest.
