Page 31 of Absolute Certainty
She spoke again as soon as Jay got into the driver’s seat. “It’s not fair that I can’t watch your movies.”
He glanced at her through the rearview mirror and started the engine. “My movies aren’t meant for kids, baby. You can watch them when you’re older.”
“But don’t I get to see them earlierbecauseI’m yourkid?” she whined.
More like the polar opposite, he thought.You’re not allowed to watch them until you're forty. Maybe even older. Better yet, never.
He set the car in reverse, pulling out of the driveway and onto the open street. “Nope. They’re sad, and I don’t want you to be sad.”
“Why do you only make sad movies?”
Because life is fucking unfair and sad movies sell. Sad movies are an outlet—a punching bag to release all the pent-up anger and pain.
“Why are we asking so many questions today?”
“Because I want to know,” she answered plainly.
Jay sighed. “Sometimes, when bad things happen, the only thing we can do is tell those stories so that the people watching feel a little less alone.”Nailed it—an honest and appropriate response.
Eloise stayed quiet for a beat. Jay continued to drive.
“What kind of bad things happened?” she asked eventually.
Jesus Christ. I hope you never know, kid.“Why don’t we talk about happier things? Did you get any fun snacks at Trader Joe’s?”
“Yeah, the shortbread cookies with raspberry filling inside and uh, popcorn. Bad things like inA Series of Unfortunate Events?”
Apparently, she had no intention of moving on from this topic, despite his attempt to change the subject.
“There’s a downside to your reading level being higher than your grade. But a bit, yeah. Minus the constant deaths of guardians, I suppose.”
“Well then, I think I’m old enough,” she declared.
Jay gave her another look through the rearview mirror as he stopped at a red light. “How about you let your mom and me determine that?”
“Can I watch when I’m ten?”
“Maybe.” He hoped that answer would do the trick because any sort of staunch objection today seemed only to pique her curiosity further.
She pursed her lips in thought. “Fine. Can we watchBarbieagain when we get home?”
“Definitely,” Jay confirmed, switching his foot to the gas pedal again.
Eloise lookedup at him after they’d sat down and finished ordering drinks at Bahama Breeze. “Dad, can I order the food for us?”
Jay nodded. “Of course. Remember to tell them about your pineapple allergy, though.”
She bobbed her head up and down, kicking her feet excitedly across the booth from him.
When the waiter returned and looked at Jay, he gestured for Eloise to talk.
“Hi! Can we, um…have two of the shrimp tacos, please? But with no pineapple chutney,” she enunciated, reading the menu. “I’m very allergic to pineapples.”
“Of course, and for you, sir, would you like the pineapples on the side?”
Jay shook his head; he wouldn’t eat them if Eloise couldn’t. “I’m good, thank you.”
The waiter jotted the order down in her notepad. “Alrighty. We’ll be back out with those orders shortly.”
