Page 18 of Absolute Certainty
Had an actual human being looked into those big, beautiful brown eyes, claiming that she overstayed her welcome? What kind of a fucking moron wasn’t willing to perpetually orbit around her?
Leaning forward in the uncomfortably small chair, Jay looked her in the eyes and said, “Well,sunshine. You’re welcome near me any day.”
Sunshine.The fuck. Did he really call her that out loud?
It flowed so easily from his lips that it was both strange and familiar at the same time. But what was she to him other than maybe a friend and now an unofficial (read: official in his dreams) writing partner? He shouldn’t have been calling her anything other than her name.
Sahar.Sunshine.
He’d read somewhere that in Arabic, her name meant “dawn,” and he’d never known another person whose name matched their personality so seamlessly. Sunshine might not always be present at dawn, but he’d argue that it was the ideal time of day—the most hopeful, the most picturesque.
He chanced a glance at her amid his whirling thoughts. She was smiling leisurely, her features soft and warm, actual sunlight glimmering on her, brightening her dark red hair. He could gaze at her for hours, count the small freckles dusting along her nose, and lose himself in the stories present in her eyes.
“I’m honored,” she said, and he could tell that she meant it, even as he sensed that she didn’t fully buy into his statement. She dropped her forearm onto the table then and said, “Do I get to ask again about why you chose Amanda’s now that we’re alone?”
Jay sighed, thinking about how much he could say to her without disclosing the sob story of his and his sister’s past. “In short, my dad is a piece of shit and he put Alex—my sister—through some things that fucked with her mental health before her Broadway debut. I was bartending for a while, but the later hours made it hard to be present for both Alex and Eloise, my daughter, so I applied to the coffee shop. Alex was in the production that ran beforeMidnights at Pemberleycame to the Hyacinth, so it was just a matter of convenience. Then I got the manager’s job, strikes, and well…shit industry.”
Sahar’s expression was empathetic, and there was no trace of pity in her eyes, only a look that said she wasn’t judging him or his family for any of it.
“Is your sister doing better these days? That must be so hard, especially with how demanding our industry can be.”
He nodded. “A lot better, yeah, though she has her days.”
“That’s good to hear. Is she in anything now?”
“Hatchard’s Academy.”
Jay caught the stark change in her entire demeanor. A shadow of unease flashed in her eyes. “My ex is in that.”
“Who’s your ex?” he asked.
“Martin Tucker.”
He couldn’t remember if his sister had told him anything about him. “Do I need to worry about him?”
“In terms of what?”
Did he hurt you? Did you love him? Did he break your heart?
Jay shook his head. He wasn’t sure why he had asked the initial question. It wasn’t entirely about Sahar either, and Alex wasn’t a kid anymore, but he still worried about his sister constantly after everything she’d been through. “I don’t know. The way your expression changed tells me something’s off about him. I don’t think my sister has mentioned him before, so I don’t know, should I be concerned that she’s in this show with him?”
“Oh, no, I don’t think so. He’s more someone who’ll use anyone to get to the top, and he hates sharing the spotlight. Now that I think about it, he probably got with me to see if he could get closer to Ethan and Declan, but they both kept him at arm’s length. Unless your sister has some high-profile connections, he’s simply a leech.”
A drop of relief washed over Jay at once. “Alex keeps to herself a lot. She had a few good friends in the last show, but I don’t think that’s the case here.”
“If you want to warn her, feel free. But on a more positive note, it’s lovely that both you and your sister are in the industry somehow. You said your dad is a piece of shit, but what about your mum?”
He was about to answer when she shook her head abruptly. “I’m so sorry if that’s too personal. I didn’t think, Jay.”
“No, you’re fine. Our mom is great. She was on Broadway, too, before she met him. Now, she teaches music theory.”Don’ttell her how he broke her spirit and forbade her from ever stepping foot on a stage again. Don’t tell her how you’re scared you’ll end up just like him, even though you know you’d never.
Sahar smiled again, breaking him free from his maddening thoughts. “I’m glad your mum is great. Did the stage not call to you?”
Tapping his thumb along the circular table, he exhaled a low laugh. “Not even a little.”
She was looking at him with such curiosity that it made his chest tighten. “Someone’s gotta give us performers the story to tell.”
He swallowed, thinking once more of how he wanted to write a character just for her. “You’re a storyteller, too, now,” he said.
