Page 120 of Absolute Certainty
A low laugh escaped him. Sahar wasn’t just physically breathtaking—it was everything about her. It was her fire and light that made her incomparable.
“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her, and it’s fucking killing me,” he admitted.
Maya punched his shoulder with unrestrained enthusiasm. “Fuck yes, Jay! I’m gonna assume she feels the same way?”
He rubbed the spot she’d hit. “I don’t know. She’s going through some things. I don’t know what they are, but I’m guessing they’re making it harder for her to fully open up to me.”
She folded her knees up to her chest. “You think it has something to do with her ex? Lex told me a bit about him.”
“What didn’t Lex tell you?” It was lovely that his sister and Maya had always been close, but why the fuck were they talking about his love life?
Maya rolled her eyes. “Relax, it’s not like she knows shit with the way you keep to yourself. But she believes you’re into Sahar—” she paused, holding up a finger to stop him from countering—“which we now know is correct because you’ve confirmed itto me. She’d just mentioned that Sahar dated the lead in her show and that he’s a real piece of work. Your daughter also called him a slimy possum after she overheard Lex complaining.”
“That’s my girl,” he declared.
“Now, answer my question. Do you think it’s her ex? Or something deeper?” Maya challenged.
Jay sighed. “To a degree, I’m sure he has something to do with it. But there’s something else there.”
She gave him an empathetic pout. “Give her time, then. Areyouable to open up to her? Because I hope you’re not expecting her to when we all know how closed off you can be.”
He stretched his legs out onto the coffee table, laying his head back on the cushion. “I’ve told her things no one else knows. She can break me wide open with a single look, Maya,” he confirmed.
Maya cocked an eyebrow, then gave him a toothy grin. “Good, good. That tells me a lot.”
“You okay with her spending time with Ellie when she’s ready for that? And if the kid’s okay with it, too?”
“Absolutely. I trust your judgement, and I don’t know…I can tell she’s one of the good ones. You know my gut,” she reminded him.
Jay nodded, taking in her response. Whether a myth or reality, Maya’s gut was one to trust; he’d never argue against it.
She told him a bit about their weekend before Eloise woke up and joined them for a quick movie. Later, they picked up Alex and drove to his mom’s place for dessert.
Sahar had made it home safe.
Jay spent the rest of the day and evening missing her.
31
SAHAR
Willa came home after work, accompanied by Ethan and Sam, who both wanted to check in on Sahar. They’d ordered food, and she caught them up on what happened, promising that her ankle was indeed okay and she was ready to go back to work on Tuesday.
After the guys left, Sahar had confided in Willa regarding everything she’d felt after spending the night at Jay’s, and Willa had suggested for Sahar to be fully transparent with him, vouching that it was the one thing that ensured she and Ethan got off on a healthy start when they decided to risk their friendship for a relationship.
If only being honest with Jay about her specific fears were easy. If only she weren’t so terrified that he’d run.
She had a feeling he’d understand because he’d been so patient with her, except her brain heckled that it was because he hadn’t fully seen all of her.
He’ll also have enough of you someday. A repeat of Martin’s birthday is inevitable when you’re the problem in every relationship.
Two Months Ago - May
Sahar swallowed, struggling to recognize the woman staring back at her in the mirror. She wore a simple black skirt with a dark gray striped jumper and boots; long brown hair ironed and makeup done as she’d always had it, but someone else looked back at her. Someone lost. Someone numb.
There were knots twisted deep in her belly, growing tighter and more suffocating by the second.
An exhale. An inhale. Repeat.
