Page 22 of Dash to Me
“It’s recent. And honestly, with everything going on with you and Atlas, I didn’t want to be a downer.” She fiddles with her napkin. “He said my schedule was ‘incompatible with a meaningful relationship.’”
“He said that? After three years?” I feel a surge of protectiveness. “What a jerk.”
“He’s not wrong, though. I’m never there. I missed his sister’s wedding because of a shift change. I fall asleep during date nights.”
“That’s temporary. He knows what you do is important.”
“Knew,” she corrects. “Past tense.” She attempts a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Anyway, it’s fine. I’m fine. This is why I didn’t tell you—I didn’t want to hijack your happiness with my drama.”
I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. “Hey, that’s not how this works. Your stuff matters just as much as mine.”
“Thanks.” She squeezes back. “But seriously, I want to hear more about Atlas. When’s the big move?”
I hesitate, not wanting to abandon her problems, but I can see she needs the distraction. “Day after tomorrow.”
“That’s so soon!” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Just promise me one thing?”
“What?”
“Don’t lose yourself in this relationship. I’ve watched you do that before—with Derek. You have this tendency to mold yourself into whatever shape they need.”
I want to protest, but she’s not wrong. It’s something I’ve been working on in therapy—my people-pleasing tendencies, myfear of abandonment. “I’m trying to be better about that. And Atlas is different. He doesn’t want me to change for him.”
“Good. Because I like you exactly as you are—neurotic book collection and all.”
“Speaking of my books, I should probably start packing them tonight.”
Selena checks her watch and sighs. “I should go, but maybe I’ll have enough time to help you pack.”
“Really? That would be amazing.”
“What are best friends for if not helping you move in with your childhood sweetheart?”
As we gather our things, Selena pulls me into another tight hug. “I’m happy for you,” she whispers. “Scared, but happy.”
“That makes two of us.”
Stepping out of the coffee shop and walking to my car, fear washes over me. But it’s the good kind of fear, the kind that comes with jumping into something wonderful and unknown.
“Text me when you get home,” Selena calls as she heads toward her car.
“Will do. And Selena?” I wait until she turns back. “I’m sorry about Micah. He’s an idiot.”
She gives me a sad smile. “Yeah, well. Occupational hazard of dating a doctor, I guess.”
As I drive home, my mind is a tangle of emotions. I’m thrilled about moving in with Atlas, but Selena’s warning echoes in my head.Don’t lose yourself.I’ve made that mistake before, letting relationships swallow me whole until I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.
I texted Atlas earlier to let him know I was meeting Selena, and now I see his reply.
Atlas: Hope you had a good time! I cleared out three more drawers for you. Mom called again about Sunday dinner. Call me later?
I smile at the message. Three drawers. It’s such a small thing, but it means so much—physical space being made for me in his life.
Me: I’ll have a whole dresser to bring. No need to clear out space in your dresser
My phone glows and it’s him.
“Hey,” his voice is warm, instantly calming the anxiety that’s been building since my conversation with Selena.
