Page 5 of Wrong Number, Right Grump
You’re impossible.– Lola
You’re intense.– unknown number
I prefer passionately expressive.– Lola
You said, and I quote, ‘burn in the flames of your own Axe body spray.’– unknown number
Did I? Hard to remember clearly now. It’s not like I rehearsed it.
I was provoked.– Lola
I’m not complaining.– unknown number
I pause, fingers hovering over the screen, and add him to my contacts list.
You know what? I’m saving you as Grump. That feels right.– Lola
Accurate.– Grump
You’re just... a little too comfortable with this whole conversation, Grump.– Lola
Maybe. Or maybe I’m just happy Chad’s out there pissing off women instead of me.– Grump
My stomach does a flippy thing. Which is annoying because I’m so over men, and it feels like the grump and I may share some common ground. But I’m not as angry as before. And this feels... fun.
Careful. Keep texting like that and you might get your own playlist.– Lola
Make it a 9/10 and we’ll talk.– Grump
***
Logan
She texts back. And not just once. She’s Fast. Funny. Sharp. Like opening a floodgate.
Bold of you to rate a stranger’s playlist. Do you moonlight as a breakup DJ or just deep dive playlists for sport?– Drama Queen
I smirk. My thumb hovers over the screen longer than it should.
Most women I’ve met try too hard to be likable. This one started with a verbal hit list and ended with a curated Spotify experience, complete with a scorching, burn-it-all-to-the-ground title. She doesn’t try to be cute. I think she’s just being herself.
Refreshing. I’m not prepared for how much I like that.
Her reply to my comment about revenge therapy is immediate. Teasing. Borderline offended.
Who hurt you?– Drama Queen
The joke’s easy to volley. I almost type something smug. But her question burrows deeper than it should. I could saysomething flippant. I could lean into the sarcasm. That’s what I usually do.
But instead, I stare at the screen like an idiot. Because the truth? Every woman I’ve ever dated. Not all at once. But slowly. In pieces. Until I stopped letting anyone get close enough to finish the job.
Girlfriends who flaked when things got heavy. A serious relationship that turned into a one-way effort. A woman who said I displayed toxic masculine behavior because I didn’t process things like she did. She wanted a therapist, not a partner.
So yeah, someone hurt me. Just not in the dramatic, playlist-worthy kind of way. More like erosion. Quiet and steady until I didn’t bother trying anymore. I don’t tell her any of that. I type something else instead.
Not sure, but I think I just took a hit for men everywhere.– Logan
And it’s safer that way. Because this woman’s a handful. Loud. Funny. Says too much. But she feelsreal.And I don’t know what the hell to do with that.
