Page 121 of The Nanny and the Nerd
His only path forward was work.
He glanced at Penny—no, Penelope. It had to be this way. He’d hurt her more in the end. He hadn’t lied. Her heart was his heart. And he knew what he had to do.
He plucked the empty wooden box from the ground—empty like his servers and empty like his soul. “I’m not the man you think I am, Penelope. And I never will be.”
“That’s a lie,” she shot back, eyes shining as she poked him in the chest. And Christ, how he wanted to lift her hand to his lips and press a kiss to her palm! But he couldn’t.
“Sir,” a crew member called, striding toward them. “We’re ready to depart for St. Barts. A car will meet you at the marina and drive you to the airport.”
He nodded to the man, then listened as his footsteps disappeared, leaving only the beat of the tranquil ocean. But it gave him no peace. He could feel Penelope’s eyes on him—the anguish and disappointment nearly palpable.
“Look at me, Rowen.”
Slowly, he turned and held her gaze.
“This is it, then? This is goodbye?” she asked, lifting her chin.
“This is goodbye,” he repeated robotically, dying inside, a husk of a man.
She blinked back tears. “What happened to my heart is your heart?”
She was giving him an opening—a way to make amends for his appalling behavior. It was another reason to love her. And he did. Christ, he did! If it were up to him, he’d take it. Take her. But he wasn’t that man. He could not be weak. And he could not fail. As much as he hated himself, those tenets, the ones he’d clung to since he was Rowen Teagues, superseded any desire—no matter how strong.
It was how it had to be.
Would he regret it?
Absolutely—with every fiber of his being.
“Well?” she asked, with a glimmer of hope in her eyes that nearly killed him.
There was one way to reply to her question. In that agonizing moment, he did the only thing he could. He hardened his features. Staring into her pools of deep sable, he went blank, retreating into himself, dead eyes and flat affect. It had to be a clean break. “We both know that I’m not the type of man anyone can trust with their heart,” he said, then turned. He heard her gasp, listened to her try and fail to hold back her tears. A good man would return to her and give her the love she deserved.
He stared hard at the empty wooden box in his hand, then continued down the deck, knowing one thing for sure—a searing truth he had to accept. As much as it killed him, and no matter how much he had wanted it, Penelope Fennimore was not for him.
Twenty-Five
Penny
“Let me get this straight,”Harper said, shock written on her face as she dropped her tea bag into a steaming mug. “Over the past month, you’ve been playing house, doing the dirty deed, and revising the narrative for a video game alongside your boss—the resident hot nerd, Rowen Gale. The guy moved heaven and earth to get you a private meeting with your author crush, that Delores chick, in the freaking Caribbean, no less! And then, in a total delirium, you told Rowen you loved him on a deserted beach covered in seashells.”
“Don’t forget, they did the naughty dance in the car after Penny professed her love for the guy,” Libby added.
Penny had to hand it to her friends. They paid attention.
“And after that,” H continued, not missing a beat. “He got upset about the video game. He blamedyoufor distracting him from his work. Then he left you on a luxury superyacht, ending things between the two of you. But you’re not sure how things stand because when you told the guy you loved him, he didn’t say it back.”
Penny surveyed the coffee shop. Usually, the scent of lattes and the hum of conversation soothed her soul. But not even the comfort of being in a familiar place could give her peace. She glanced between Libby and Harper, then gave her friends a weak nod. “That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.”
Harper shared a look with Libby, then threw up her hands. “Penny Fennimore, you have been holding back on us—way back, girlfriend! When did things get so serious? I mean, I get screwing his brains out. He’s sexy weirdo nerd candy and totally your type. But love, Penn? You love him?”
A sad smile stretched across Penny’s lips as she shrugged. “And don’t forget Phoebe. She’s perfection packed into one little kid. Yeah, I love him. I love them both.”
Harper blew out an exasperated breath. “I get the little girl. I do. But hot, loaded nerd or not, the man’s a real…” She tapped her foot twice, deeming Rowen a butthole in the secret tap language. It made her think of Phoebe and the day she’d met the two people who’d taken up residence in her heart.
H looked ready to blow a gasket while Libby sat serenely taking it in.
She wanted to wait until Char was there to spill the deets. But, shocker, H couldn’t wait. And perhaps she shouldn’t have led with the whole yacht disaster. But that’s where her mind and her heart had been stuck this past week. She’d been trapped in a loop—a loop that started with a surprise trip to the Caribbean, where the man of her dreams had treated her like a princess, made love to her as if it were his life’s calling, then set up a private meeting with Delores Lambert DuBois. That alone would have made the trip unforgettable. But there was more. Bursting with gratitude and so much love, she’d laid it all on the line and dropped theL-word. And he felt the same way, too. She knew it—or at least she thought she did.
