Page 107 of Phoenix Falling
I pulled up the last set of video files. “We’ll work backward, okay?” I asked Lyris.
“Seems the most practical approach.”
I clicked on the latest files. My computer archived them automatically at the end of each twenty-four-hour period in a dated folder, allowing me to easily find anything I needed.
Lyris pulled up another chair and took a seat in front of my second monitor. I assigned her a file, accessed a new one for myself, and sat down to begin.
Raine and Imogen chatted all things matebonding and Archai culture behind us. I found myself listening with half an ear. Would Sun and I have some type of formal ceremony given we’d already established our matebond? Would his people require evidence that our bond was real? Like what? What about the rumors Cale might start? What would people think of my gift?
I realized I’d zoned out a bit and had to rewind a few minutes. Nothing came up on this video, so I marked it complete and started a new one. An hour later, stiff and bleary-eyed, I stood to get myself a drink and try to process what movement I’d seen.
“When will you be going through your triggering, Raine?” Imogen asked as I walked by on my way back to the table.
“Triggering?” Raine looked as confused as I was until I remembered Sun using that term when he’d…when…
Never mind.
“It’s the Archai’s formal term for your first bite.” For some reason those words made Imogen blush. “When your gift is released, you know.”
“No,” Raine said, “I didn’t know. At least that it was called that.” I’d told her the story of my own attack and what I’d gleaned from so many years of tracking females like us, which admittedly wasn’t a lot. “I’m not sure that I will go through the triggering.”
Lyris turned from her screen at that. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure I want to.” Raine’s comment held a “why do you think?” tone.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
I stepped in. “It’s her decision, Lyris. No one will be pressuring her.”
Lyris shook her head. “You don’t understand.” She rubbed at her forehead. “Sometimes I forget how much you all don’t know.”
“What don’t we know?” Raine asked.
Abandoning the computer, she came over to take a seat on the couch. “Archai females are triggered on their fifteenth birthday. It is a sacred ceremony, conducted with dignity and care, surrounded by family who can guide you through the discovery and accepting of your gift.”
A lump formed in my throat. No one here except Lyris had been given that kind of peaceful change. “Who performs the ceremony?”
“Our Aomai.”
My shoulders relaxed. Grim would be the perfect choice, of course.
“Why so young?” Raine asked. “You have the rest of your lives—”
“Because there’s a time limit.”
“What do you mean?” Imogen this time. Apparently she hadn’t gotten the full tutorial either.
Lyris sighed. “You have more in common than you might realize.” She paused as if unsure where to start. “You see, the longer an Archai female remains unchanged, the closer she walks to madness. The more she is swamped with the sense that she is alone, that she walks on the edge of darkness, the further she spirals into a depression she cannot pull out of. Most females, left unchanged, choose to commit suicide rather than continue in this life.”
“Oh my God.” Imogen covered her mouth with her hand, tears sparkling in her eyes. I didn’t need to look at Raine to know my best friend was likely on the verge of tears as well. We’d discussed our mothers’ suicides before.
“So you’re saying that, if I choose not to be triggered, I will fall into a depression and kill myself?” Raine asked.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Lyris frowned. “We do not know why, exactly, this happens; we only know that it does. So our females are triggered before they can enter this phase of their lives, for their safety and protection.”
This time it was Raine who frowned. “And has anyone ever said no?”
The idea seemed to surprise Lyris. “Of course not. Why would they?”
